I know a lot people have seen this, but I just cannot tahan to post this again and again.
FINALLY MY BOOK IS OUT!
And now I will need to check everything nice nice then I will print for all who want it.

31/12/2010, I hope I will never forget this day...

I have done everything except... the cover and a shop to print. My first ever book is quite ready to be born. Although I cannot make it on 1.1.11, it will still be a lot of excitement when I can finally hold my own book in my hands.
I still dont know how many will I print, or if budget is too limited, should I print some (and give to only some special ones) and photocopy the others... But I am trying to print 20 copies. So whoever thinks he/she wants the book please tell me so that I can reserve one for you. I am not making money, not even taking one cent from anyone, so I hope I will not have more than one copy left with me.
Currently on the list who will get the book...
1. Me
2. My family
3-20. ____________

Who else think that he/she is not on the list and seriously want to have the book, please tell me.
And...
Thank you for your support!

SPOILER...

So I am done with my first ever book to be printed. And here I am posting a picture summarizing the book.
453 pages, 155,549 words. That is the summary of my book.

我的高中生活

前言
1.拜师
2.开学
3.校花
4.邻居
5.新生
6.心碎
7.秘诀
8.联盟
9.风水
10.社团
11.商议
12.新年
13.保铃
14.书店
15.爱河
16.古迹
17.探亲
18.捉贼
19.情伤
20.文学
21.佣人
22.约会
23.遇险
24.篮球
25.回忆
26.情书
27.筹备
28.晴天
29.研究
30.巫术
31.灌溉
32.嫌疑
33.冒险
34.骗子
35.惊喜
36.送花
37.日莱
38.少爷
39.偶像
40.恢复
41.生病
42.晕倒
43.中秋
44.捷径
45.决斗
46.结果
47.真相
48.完美
49.离别
50.结局

what a way to end this short holiday

dramas happening around... i hate you you hate me... and the singing started again.
playing the blame games, and then starting to hate each other. thinking that it is cool to be able to blame others. i was once the blamer, but after a few episodes i have grown matured, and what is the fun of blaming? a better way is to solve or face the problems together with the team.
and then again, war between these 2 neighbours. and a really dumb stupid fucking ass who used laser during the match caused all the war to begin again. now i am hoping there is another evacuation again and i can be in malaysia during chinese new year.
why are there fools on this earth? because they are here to make people like me look clever.

忘了在什么时候的假期，在马来西亚家里看过《蜗居》。
我不知道要怎样形容这部戏。可以说，闷。但是，也蛮精彩的。
不管怎么样，《蜗居》是一部真的很好的戏。我不说好看，我只说好。因为可能对一些人来说它并不好看。
《蜗居》里没有大明星。可是它很写实。所以，很多评语都是说它的好。

为什么我突然提起《蜗居》，因为我也开始教华文了。虽然我没有收钱。
也许有一天，我会变成《蜗居》里的郭海萍也说不定。
其实教华文还真不错。尤其是不需要教得太深的那种。

有一集很好笑的。
什么时候用穿，什么时候用戴？
结果，答案是什么？
穿是必备的，要穿完所有该穿的，才可以出门。
戴不是必备的，没有戴也可以出门。
所以，我们要穿衣服，穿裤子，穿鞋子……却戴手表，戴帽子，戴眼镜……
我以前也没有想过，穿和戴竟然可以这样分……

I always have my own opinion about things, sometimes people cannot agree with them, and rarely people will find them stylo.

In my opinion, there are some OVERRATED and some UNDERRATED events in a year. For example, the coming Christmas is such an overrated day. It has almost become one of the must-have for teenagers, no matter who they are. The reason behind this may be the influence of Western movies, I don't know. People just cannot miss this day, cannot sit quietly at home, and (usually) must wear the Santa hat. And for some of the underrated days like parents' birthdays, people always forget them. Me as a non-Christian, have never celebrated Christmas. But there are people who will spend a lot for it. And totally forget or never really celebrate their parents' birthdays.

"Is there something bad between you and another person?" If someone asks me, the answer is yes. Who would be the person, quite a few. I may look like a carefree or not motivated or whatever you want to call me, but I do have principles. And if someone is against them, then that's it. Some of my principles are... don't cheat me, don't show off, and ... some people may find this hard to accept, but I hate nerds. Because nerds usually love to cheat people. But not all of them. So I am okay with those honest nerds. Some of my friends may know who I do not like at all. And people out there are free to hate me as well.

What do I want in my life? Actually I do not need to be damn rich, do not need to be a high-achiever, do not need to have the prettiest lady as girl friend. What I want is I want to do what I like to do, such as playing some games and writing novels. Writing novels is really fun, it is like telling your friends (or fans if I am a big novelist) stories, just like any crapping sessions you have with friends. And you definitely like to crap with friends. But writing novels are better, in a way that I control everything - the characters, the plot, the settings...

Why I am writing this post is because there are things that I want to share before the overrated day. And these are purely my opinions. I have my own principles, I want to do what I want to do, and I am lazy to compete with anyone.

as always, weekend is too short. although i always do nothing, still i feel that i have not enough time to really rest. haiz, fml.

its been really, really long since i need to use my brain, and start brainstorming for the fate of mine and four other people. until, few days back...
and until yesterday, i know, i can do it once again, just like how i did it back in 2008, where we surprised everyone including me myself.
it is 25% skill, 25% luck, 25% teamwork, and 25% confidence. i think all of them are important. and i realise, i have grown matured after so many years. previously i would screw my team when we had mistakes, and this will affect the 25% confidence. now, i would rather motivate them. the 25% teamwork is hard to achieve, due to lack of communication, but we will do well when we sit together and take as much as possible from that 25%. 25% luck, that is hard to predict how much you can get benefit from it. and skill...
i know, i still have the skill, to take my team to higher level of play. although team 08 has bad results recently, i do believe, we will be back as the team who beats everyone in tournament.
anyone of you can disagree with me, but i still feel like i am as good as i was during my prime time, maybe even better.

Ido's Album

也许你已经在面子书上看见过以上照片。
今天上课时知道我的这个朋友出了小专辑，就第一时间找他然后买了这张CD下来。里面有六首曲子。首先当然要先恭喜他，能够实现梦想。再来就……回家听喽。

什么时候才是我出书的时候？
这个问题……不容易回答。第一，我身在印尼，要出版华文字的书，我都不知道有没有可能。第二，就算我回到马来西亚，只想出版少少的二十本，我没有本钱。至少在印尼我还有储蓄，在马来西亚我根本就是完全靠父母的。可是我不想连累他们。第三，我不可能出版没有封面的书。封面由谁来设计？虽然我学过画画，可是……我怕画得不美。

有谁要订购这张CD吗？通过我订购还可以得到琴手的亲手签名哦！

《如果传》筹备得还不错，再计划两个星期（也就是写完《我的高中生活》的时间），就应该是完全计划好了。暂时呢我只能说，不要期望太多，因为我不是写爱情故事的专家。我只是随心所欲写作。现在的人真的以为爱情很重要，甚至可以为爱情去自杀而出名。连站在十字路口顾马路的警察都更有资格出名啦！所以，我说过《我的高中生活》不是爱情小说，所以结局是怎样的，你们不要期望太高……哈哈！

不知名的白花……

如果传

《我的高中生活》已近尾声，可是因为种种无奈，现在我才可以继续写作。

至于《如果传》，它是我第一部有计划的小说。现在已经开始计划的工作。

taken from 5th floor of lecture hall

its been fucking busy recently and if i were to do everything accordingly, actually i dont have time to even sleep. but as usual, i am too lazy to do things like others do, so i still have time to relax.
completing chest complaints within 3 weeks is like fucking retarded thing to do. and to prepare for its block exam in 4 days is much more fucking retarded. imagine about 40 lectures to be remembered in 4 days... with an average of 50 slides per lecture.
enough of these...

actually i always want to write this. big thanks for everyone who did their job for our evacuation. the embassy, the high education ministry, tudm, our university, seniors, juniors, ourselves, media, and most importantly my family who came all the way from sp to subang and then back to sp again.
during my stay in malaysia, i didnt hang out with any friends, because either they didnt know i was there, or i didnt know they were there. so most of the time spent was with family or in my room playing some games. some people asked me why i didnt complete my novel then? simply because it is hard to write novel at home. it is easier to write it in indonesia because i have nothing else to do.

nice sky at home...

beautiful flower at home...


cute little thing at home...

Full Episode of My Life with Merapi

Since I never keep a diary, I do not know exactly the date of what incident happen on which date. But what I'm going to write here is all my experience from the briefing about evacuation and safety precaution until yesterday.

Change of Status

Since Merapi changed status from siaga to awas, everyone was like "OMG we are going to die!!!" ... Ok, maybe not everyone, but among us there were people like this. Me? I witnessed the change of status to waspada since 1 or 2 months ago, so when we were told it was AWAS... Wow, Merapi made some progress. During the briefing at night on 5th floor of lecture hall, which was given by Dr Junaidi and Mr Ludinata, both from Malaysia Embassy in crisis or keamanan department I'm not sure, we were taught what to do IF this and that happened. And also we were told to prepare a bag, with passport, IC, money and all the important stuffs, and torch light, towel, food, water and so on.

And from that night onwards, I have decided to jaga malam. Yes, ME, not US. Why? Maybe I'm kiasi. But WHY I DO THIS DECISION ALONE is because there are not much people I can put my trust on them when it comes to jaga malam. So, almost everyday I jaga until 3am, then only I sleep. Where did I sleep? In my room. So in the end, I am not that kiasi also, I still slept in my room which is located damn far behind at the house.

DESTRUCTION

So, for us who stay 25km away from Merapi, what we could feel from the eruption was... basically nothing. Sometimes we could feel some minor earthquakes. We usually got all the worries from watching news, or listening to rumours. During the first few days, areas around the mountain slope has turned white, covered by ash. The death toll started from 7 or 8 people, including reporters. And then one Mbah Maridjan, which is like the guardian of Merapi, died. And since then only the local people felt the terror. Evacuation had begun but some of the villagers did not run away, because they worried about their farms and cows.

Number of casualty increased until around 30, and then Merapi had a short rest. Everything turned peaceful quite a bit, and I also started sleeping at 2am. But from the news from TV, we still could see evacuation work was going on.

The evacuation radius kept increaing, from around the slope, to 3km, to 5km, to 10km. Then...

The Sky Rained Ash

On Friday night 29 October, when everyone was enjoying Friday Night, some people started posting on Facebook "Jogja has snow" etc. And when I went out of my room, the surroundings were already covered by ash. This is the first time I wore mask, although we were told to do so earlier. Saturday, they were having a bazaar and we Malaysian had a booth too, selling some Malsysian food. I didn't go, so I didn't clean my bike. The next day, my bike's rear brake pedal and gear pedal already had rust. I never imagine this ash from volcano is so damn powerful. Imagine this thing drop on our skin. And THIS is what we, who stayed in Jogja, were going to experience until we were evacuated...

Since the first ash rain, Jogja was all grey. The tar roads were white, and as days passed, vehicles helped clearing the ash, so the tar road became damn funny, with some dividers in the middle (because no car walk there) and at the pulau jalan, there is pantai jalan also surrounding the pulau. When I rode motor, and any stupid car or motor pass by with quite some speed, the ash flew and entered my eyes. It was so damn shitty. And people there kept splashing water on the road, to prevent ash from flying everywhere. When it rained (when volcano erupts rain volume also increases, some geographical knowledge), everywhere became muddy, just like shit. And the smell of sulphur and don't know what chemicals, made it worse.

Calm Before The Storm

Although we had all the ash, but the days after that were quite peaceful (which I stated above, the peaceful days). We had normal activities on, just that we were wearing mask whenever we went out.

Some people even said the status changed back to Siaga already. But I know this was not the end yet. In 1930, the activity of Merapi lasted for more than 1 year. And now just a few days and they want to call it safe? Naive innocent fools. So I still jaga-jaga.

Beginning of The End

On midnight of 4 November, while I was playing game in my room, I heard something like thunder sound, and the sound of like heavy rain whacking the roof, the tapping sound was very loud. I didn't know it was RAINING SMALL STONES until Chew told me. And the thunder sound was actually the sound of eruption. And the frequent shaking of the ground is because of the big eruption.

I stayed until quite late that night, fearing worse would come, but still slept at around 3am. The next day I had class on 8am, so I woke up at 7am. Just when I close my alarm, I received a message. UGM cancelled all the classes today. I was damn happy because I didn't really ready for the class. Then we were told to gather at campus and we were going to evacuate to Solo, some 60km away from Jogja. After waiting and waiting, we went to Solo and reach there quite late. I began to ask my parents to get ready to book ticket to come back to Malaysia, but there were some documents we needed to do to come back, so everything was uncertain.

The only confirmed thing was, we were going to go to Solo, and became refugee. What came in my mind was, staying at some fucked up hall, sharing toilets, sleeping on the floor.... So I was praying real hardcorely hard to go back to Malaysia.

Fresh Air Once Again

As the bus went further away from Merapi, I could see the roads becoming blacker, the people not wearing mask, the cars were clean (in Jogja all vehicles were ASHy, because even if you wash everyday, when wind blew all the ash would drop from trees and all the efforts were shits). Although the journey was long (it took about 3 hours), and we were hungry, but we were going to stay at hotel! Okay, a lousy one. But still better than any fucking hall.

So we went to Solo Grand Mall and had dinner there. The first thing I thought about Solo is... WOW, it is like Cameron Highlands! Because it was green! But honestly, Solo is just a normal town. I felt that way because I had been seeing white trees and leaves for one week.

Then, we were told that we would be going back... on the next day's midnight 2am. Meaning we had tomorrow to spend, then the night don't need to sleep already and get ready to go back Malaysia. So it was a happy ending afterall...

Disappointment

We went to Solo Square, just to found out there was not much thing there. Then we went to a stupid warnet, and then went to Solo Grand Mall again. I had some damn nice dinner there. And went back quite early to get ready for departure. I was like... Goodbye Solo.

We had a briefing at 10pm about our departure. And it was a damned disastrous briefing. Due to some problems, the original plan which we were going back to Malaysia by MAS was spoiled. We would go back using TUDM aircraft and there would be 4 flights in total. The first 2 flight would be on the next day (Sunday). The other 2 on Monday. And the priotity would be given to Sabahan and Sarawakians, those who sick and juniors. I was like... SHIT! Can I get to the first day flight?

That was damn fucking stress session when they reading out names one by one. It was like when there is the end of the world and they are announcing names of those who get to board the airship to escape.

Luckily, I was in 2nd flight, which was still on Sunday. But it was 2pm man, still a long way to go...

Unusual Flight

We reached airport quite on time, but the procedures were too slow. And there was a change again, because Malaysia only got one day permit to land its army aircraft on Indonesia land. So from 4 flights it was cut down to 3 flights, and all on Sunday.

We finally got onto the aircraft at about 5pm, and the journey took 4 hours. Which means we would reach Malaysia at 10pm. The aircraft was the type used to carry army stuff, the entrance is at behind. there are 4 rows of seats without seat belt. We squeezed ourselves inside it, ass touching ass. And the toilet was epic, it was just surrounded by short wall and curtain.

Finally, I reached here at 10pm, then we had meeting with some people. And finally I reached home at 4am, with my whole family bringing me from Subang back to SP.

火山爆发

这种情况持续了差不多一个星期。自从Merapi从siaga变成awas之后，生活改变了很多。

为了做好准备，我们收拾了一个小书包，里面装着passport等重要文件，还有水、食物，和一些紧急时需要用的东西。万一发生什么事，只要拿了书包就直接跑。
所以，每一天去campus书包都很重。不是我怕死，而是以防万一。

每一天晚上，我都守夜到三点，然后换人。虽然我的家有7个人，可是一部分人是不可靠的，所以我坚持要自己守夜。这个也不是我怕死，只是我们不知道这一次的破坏力有多大，有传闻说它这一次比2006年强10倍。如果真的强10倍，我再怎么准备也是死。如果是强5倍，至少我可能能活。

看着那班人，白天还做一些无聊费神的事情，晚上回家对我说“好累，有什么事情记得叫我。”，你就知道，靠人不如靠自己。

一个星期，晚上不睡好，白天又上课。校方根本不把它当一回事。越来越多人死了。救护车向Merapi赶去，或向医院冲来。鸣声听得很倦。星期四去campus的时候，看到很多人停了motor站在路边。一辆lorry载着三个棺材驾过我旁边。
我知道，这一次是真的。

昨晚，下了一场雨。和平时的雨不同。平时的雨我们都怕，有sulphur溶在里面。昨晚的雨，是沙雨。把火山灰和沙从25km外带到这里。开门一看，屋子好像建在海滩那样。Motor完全被沙盖了。树叶都是沙。一阵风吹过，沙和灰飘落，顿时陷入沙暴。

ash rain aftermath 2

ash rain aftermath 1

this morning, even we are 25km away from the furious merapi, it still rained ash and sand. the result? almost 5mm of sand covering the ground.

n8

more of N8 photos.

btw, merapi erupting soon, and i have to be prepared for the worst.
lets hope nothing serious will happen and i still can go back to msia...

guess what? savings of one whole year is in this box.


this is it. :D

YS Novels

Today is a memorable day because...
there are 50 people "like" YS Novels!

To anyone who support me and has not "liked" the page, you are welcomed to do so.
LOL.
I am not forcing anyone to like it. Do it on your own will.

I already have the whole story done in my mind, I just don't have time to write it down.
Sorry for the delay of updating.
Due to postponed exam date, I have lesser free time to write.
So I might need more than a week after exam to finish it.

As for the sequel, I have the main idea already.
I am just waiting for more support to have the job starts.
And I really hope, this will be the novel that will change my life.

Before I stop, I must say that this sequel is 100% my original idea with some reference from some sources for detailed information, not the story.
While the current novel...
not 100% my original idea because some of them are my real life experiences and some are from other sources.

i used this whole day to finish my methodology assignment.
this is foolish.
yes it is.
i dont even have any research, and i need to do a proposal.
and i crap all the things.
but i need citations.
and best of all, i have done a 11-page proposal.
what i feel now is grateful, relieved, and ... sleepy.
somehow my strategy worksand i finish it on time.
and because of this methodology, i have my powerpoint's virginity broken.
this is the first time i do something on powerpoint.
i hope tomorrow i will get at least 7 mark for this methodology.

for the novel, these few days visitors to the site has been decreasing, a lot.
but i understand that without update who wants to go?
so its ok, im not feeling disappointed about that.
after the exam i am going to continue.
and lets see if the site will have some visitors back.
and for the sequel, i actually have the idea already.
but without any supporters or readers, what for i write it down?
thats why i set my target of 50 votes to start writing it.
and the idea of the story, i have already had it since somewhere may or june this year.
just that it is hard for me to write the beginning.
but if it is a sequel, then it will be much more easier to begin the story.
as i said, the sequel has a fantasy world setting, with ru guo as main protagonist.
previously in my idea, the main protagonist was a summoner.
but now, if i have enough supports, the protagonist has to be a mage.

ok, get back to the current novel.
there are still some incidents to happen before the conflict comes.
and like what i told some of my friends, the end will be somewhat predictable.
but it is not like what they think.
this is not a novel mainly about romance.
romance is just part of the novel.
so the end is not always be 2 people get together.
or two people who love each other got seperated.
i have revealed enough clues along the story how this will end.

and to those who havent voted, no matter you support me or not, please vote so that i know how many people are actually supporting me.
im not that kind of people who want tobe the centre of attention.
its just that without your support, i am like writing on the wall.
and it looks stupid.
its just like plants grow taller not because they want your attention.
but they need to get sunlight.
same here.
i need to grow taller not because i want to get attention but i need to survive.
survive in the world of writing.

愿圆缘

源远苑

怨缘远

缘原圆

愿缘援鸳

缘鸳圜媛

爰冤

媛远院

鸳怨

源院

缘渊援鸳圆愿

for people who want to support my novels, here you go.

i created a page on facebook few days ago, and on the first day the response was more than what i expected.

and on second day, as expected, there was no response.

actually i do not need too much response, what i really need is just support. i need more support to have motivation to continue writing. and my ultimate aim is to have my novels get published.

but if i cant even get support from my friends, how am i going to get more supporters?

that is why i am hoping that my friends and family who support me will suggest the page to more people out there, and if i really have enough supporters, my novels can be published without any problems.

and i want to thank all of you who have been supporting me. and to those who dont like me or my novels, sorry.

number of visitors of my blog does not show the number of REAL readers of it.

so now, with less than 30 visitors to my novel, i have how many readers only?

dont know.

it is quite a failure having so little readers after so long time and after so much advertisement.

but i will continue writing it to the end.

梦想

我问我自己，我有什么梦想？

其实我现在这个时候所拥有的梦想，是……

第一：拥有自己的书，自己写的小说。我觉得能够握住自己写的小说，那是最幸福的事情。我不需要很出名，我不需要赚很多钱，我的梦想就只是拥有自己的书。

第二：能够享受生活。这个梦想相信谁都有。

第三：能够顺利地过完大学生活。大学生活真是让我太失望了，我也不知道怎样形容，总之就是大学生活，不是我所期望的生活。

如果我的梦想都成为现实，我会写一系列的小说，由《我的高中生活》为前传，接下来的故事将会是奇幻型故事。可是如我所说的，大学生活太失望了，所以要接下去好像有一点困难。

Today my friend and I finally bought some stupid fish as our pets. But I don't know how long will they survive, just hope you guys can tahan as long as possible.


The small home for these 3 small fellas. I don't know is it ok to have them without any oxygen pump.

i have received some comments (yes, only some -_-) for my novel. well, i know it is not good enough to be called good, but i am trying my best to write it out, since it is my first after so many years.

pisau sudah berkarat ya.

but then i slowly find that i like to write more on fantasy stuffs. this novel is supposed to be somehow near to the real settings, so i control myself, to make the fantasies as only parts of the story, and decided to write a sequel which would be world of fantasy, if i have more than 50 supporters. i know it is kind of impossible because i dont think i have more than 10 readers at the moment. and i also lack of time to really focus on writing novels. this medic school life is killing my time.

your comments, no matter positive or negative, are my motivation to continue writing. although my novel appears to be so cold there, i still work hard for it and spend a lot of time there. now i have already had the main storyline, and 2 of my friends nearly got the ending correct, but still a bit wrong lah. at least i know i have revealed enough clues for the ending.

and i have done a little bit of translation for the novel, but i personally think that it is much a failure. first of all, some jokes are really funny in mandarin, but when it goes to english, it is not funny at all and appears to be crap. and my english is also too bad for producing a novel. so as i doing the translating job, i find that i am wasting a lot of time and producing something not worth.

so for now, i will be focusing on my studies (yes i am trying to do this!) and also my novel in mandarin first. my plan is to finish it during week 2 of the next block. the climax of the story is more to sci-fi and fantasy, so hope my readers can accept it and understand it. because it was my idea for a novel in ktt time.

如果一切顺利，而且我还记得今天想到的东西，明年七月或八月，我会再写一篇小说。什么风格还不确定。可能用标准华语啦。因为我们的华语很难写出来。

《我的高中生活》在近几日会进入第二年。会有一些新的元素在里面。希望读者会明白我的心思，不要把故事当作现实。有狐狸精等等东西希望你们能够接受它为一个故事。因为这个故事包括了科幻、奇幻、玄学、鬼话、梦幻、现实、生活、爱情、亲情、友情……所以尽量放大想像力，不要约束自己的思想。

接下来我有写的，是一个在这个假期跟朋友谈天不小心讲到的一个东西。请大家耐心等待。明天应该就会写完了。

想知道那个“东西”是什么？
就是……
如果一个人的名字是如果。

this is the last post by me from malaysia in 2010.

two weeks ago i put my bags on the floor in my house.

a few hours later i am going to carry them up again.

a new academic year awaits, with much pressure on my head.

somehow i have lost the motivation to be the best like i used to be.

i call it matured, but others see it as failure.

there are many things we need to do, and i am putting more effort on those things.

but then, the requirement must be met.

maybe, other people will understand in the future.

going back to jogja means i need to start working already.

and getting to play dota again.

and writing more vigorously again.

小学的时候，我参加过不少的写作比赛。可是从来都没有得奖。连优秀奖也不能得。
算了。小时了了，大未必佳。小的时候差劲，大的时候未必就不好。
上了中学，我还是一无所有。毕竟是读马来校。写作的机会少。参赛的机会更少。
直到有一天，中四的时候，我的一篇作文得到了65分。
可能65分对很多人来说是没有什么大不了。
可是对我来说，这就是第一步。
接下来，我陆续得到65分，或者更高。
中五的时候，终于又有机会参加比赛。
我参加了散文、小说（不多过5000字）和新诗。
结果一直都没有消息。
直到一年后……


是的，入选奖。
可能入选奖并不代表我有几厉害。
可是，我真的欣赏自己的新诗。
因为我觉得一个中学的比赛，应该不会看好爱情为主题的作品。
可是我还是得奖了。
接下来……



我又比了一个赛。
虽然本身觉得自己的那篇文章很不好，可是还是特优。
接下来……

这个是熏香。是MMU一个比赛我的文章得到第二名的奖品。
好笑的是，我的朋友白粉仔只寄了我不完整的文章，就已经得到第二名了。
而且，这文章只是我在blog中的一篇散文。

这些成就，不能代表我是最厉害的。
可是它们给我一种鼓励，来继续创作。
而且，要写出一个好故事，不一定只有最好的文学家才能做到。

当然我还要谢谢我的家人，我的朋友，我的老师，和我作品的读者。

小学的时候我做过什么？
画画在吉打州得过第二名。

read this comment in youtube yesterday. it sounded something like this...

it is better NOT to have the characters' voice in rpg because we can imagine their voices which suit best, and dont need to argue the voice is dumb or whatsoever.

yea, it is so true. just like in final fantasy 10 i feel like yuna got a nice physical appearance but a ....... somehow disappointing voice for me.

and in the case of novel, the author just describe how the characters look like, then we imagine their appearance. so the one who is described as nice, will appear in my mind as my dream girl. some sort like this. then the gangster with a big keloid on his forehead, i will imagine him like having my keloid on his forehead HAHAHAHA... etc.

so, leaving a space for imagination is important, for all the producers. and for readers or players or viewers, having their own imagination can enhance the effect of the stories to be told.

I have come back home, with a mission of doing nothing for two weeks. And an optional mission of writing a novel less than 5000 words.

This morning, as usual, nothing special.
Then me and Abe had our most expensive breakfast ever.
RP105600 for 2 sets of scramble egg + bread + hot tea.
A lot of juniors flying back today too, but I think they need to go to MSK.
In Hokkien we call it bo ka si, in english we call it never been taught before.
Never greet senior -> me.
If there is MSK after raya, jaga la.

And lastly my poll is closed.
The character who won the "favourite character" title is Romance.
LOL
Then there goes another poll.
Which ends when I go back to Jogjakarta.

莫失莫忘

晚风拂帷裳
孑影无灯伴
相离莫相忘
天涯两相望
月如霜
并泪沾裳
浸湿单罗杉
铃儿轻轻荡
声声入愁肠
遥寄相思
远眺旧乡
伊人何方
静夜阑
寥落微星挂天上
不思量 自难忘
浊酒一杯慰情殇
凭栏空对愁
岁月尽成憾
寒鸦秋雁携凄凉
危坐思君为哪般
秋水望穿
临风轻叹
燕子不归
徒留情长
历遍巫山沧海
看尽洞庭云雨
枫落时
姻缘散
梦回几转泪轻淌

作曲：麦振鸿
词：汉魂统帅

My Novel

I have been writing my whole new novel with brand new style. Until this moment it has been going smoothly, but due to time problem I may update a bit slower. Of course when I am free I will write more and faster.

Although I have only a few readers at the moment, I will continue this because this is like writing my dreams onto the screen and making them appear black and white. It would be a success when I finish it.

By now I have already writen 5 chapters, and my expectation is 50.

If you are reading this, and would like to know the address of my novel, kindly ask me personally and I will give you.

...

im thinking to make 2 new sites. 1 for my rubbish and another one to write novels. sadly i dont know how to create a http so maybe... i will just have fun.

soon there will be some changes.

生活

没事做，其实是一种享受。
忙忙碌碌，不就为了能够住大房请工人，然后坐着没事做？
既然如此，为何不从一开始就没事做？

因为饭还是得吃。

没办法，就只好忙碌。

我发现身边有两种人。
一者，有生活的人。这种人很少在面书上出现。
二者，没生活的人。这种人，把生活建设在面书上。
有时候，一个人会是第一种人。有时候他又会是第二种人。
就如考试时的我，便成了第二种人。
有生活时，面书就像报纸，翻开来看有什么最新消息。
我的生活很简单。
上网速度快，便看戏为乐。
慢的话，便玩游戏。

这，就是我的生活。

有时候会突然没事做，却依然享受其中。

this holiday

1 week has gone since i came back.
1 word to describe the holiday so far? -fuck-
fuck, the most flexible word, is used because i have not fucking done anything about my studies, my novels, and everything important.
i finished watching one drama, and currently watching another one.
of course, the drama i watch is not those fuck-faced taiwanese/korean/japanese dramas.
why fuck-faced? because the actors and actress' faces are like good fuckers but their acting skills are quite fucked up. why the faces are like fuckers? because their faces are nice lah, dont always think fuck is always bad. fuck face means the face is nice until you probably want to fuck this face's owner.
and also the drama is not the idea-depleted hong kong drama.
and not usa/european dramas which i need to torture my cochlea.
of course, i am not so patriotic until i watch malaysian drama.
whatever it is, i learn something from these things. and the most important thing i have learnt is, to produce a story it must be real, fucking epic real, very near to realistic, to make the readers get the feeling. then, it will advertise itself.

after world cup 2010, 4-2-3-1 is considered the new imba formation, used by all semi finalists and germany.
but i already used this formation 4 years ago.
from here i can see i got the potential to be a football team manager.
or i can say i can foresee the future.
i like this formation is because 4 players will be attacking, which favours my offense-without-defense mentality.
for me it is 4-2-4, but for others it is 4-5-1.
the play now is too defensive.
from data, the winner this time got 3 lesser goals from the winner with least goal in the history.
this is not only sad, but getting boring.
as time goes by, as people learn how to live, things become boring but we must move on.
no more adventures, no more risks, only boring long path to finish.

World Cup 2010

world cup 2010 has finally ended this morning, with iniesta scoring the winning goal for spain.
the game was one fucked up fighting shit, like a big wrestling ring playing in front of 84000 spectators. nigel de jong got the smackdown of the night, with a kung fu kick on alonso.
it was not boring, because it was full of whistle sound.

world cup now has been declining.
if not mistaken,
2002, ronaldo got golden boots with 9 goals.
2006, klose got golden boots with 7 goals.
2010, mueller got golden boots with 5 goals.
what about 2014? 3 goals?

spain's first ever world champion is somehow expected.
they got the most expensive squad.
more than half of the first 11 are from barca, thus the teamwork.
and paul the octopus chose them over the nerds.
last but not least, this whole tournament's referees were biased towards spain!
im not bull shitting here, if you dont trust me and have enough time, watch back all their games.

oh, my prediction goes 2nd again.

the day i came back

the day i came back was a bit eventful.
first i played dota until 0030, and went to watch semi final game between spain and germany.
germany got fucked by spain's play and it was a gg when puyol headed in the goal.
and i kept myself awake until the flight.
but rooban only woke up when i called him at 0650 and we were supposed to take taxi at 0700.
when we reached airport it was still not too late.
once i got onto the plane i slept.
2 and a half hours later, i arrived at lcct.
some people left, leaving 5 people in the party now.
this party was heading to the same destination at the same time.
then we met johnny chan when we were eating.
he reached here quite some time ago and had his flight at 1600 too.
quite surprised to meet him there.
i slept again when i had boarded. to pay back my sleeping time.
not long after that, i reached penang.
this is 8 july, the day i came back to malaysia.
and as soon as i came back, i rescued one of my friends from being caught by the police.

朋友，生日快乐。

不知不觉已经七月五号！
（先祝今天生日的两个朋友——志宽和Eunice生日快乐。虽然没有亲口或面书或msn祝福。你有来看我就有祝。）
也就是说，我只剩下这个下午，晚上，明天早上，下午，晚上，和后天早上可以读书，然后就考试了。也许应该加两个凌晨吧，希望能读多一点。读多则记多，记多则懂多，懂多则对多，对多则分多……

这几天internet慢到赌懒。做什么都花更多时间，结果读书的时间更少。
昨天突然挖到一部中国剧，可是因为太慢所以才看了十分钟。这十分钟却是我晚上三小时等出来的。
片头曲有一幕，整十辆黑色美丽的不知什么车（据说是Aston Vila..?）大牌地走，看到就orgasm起来了。那种黑社会场面，是我的最爱。也许我应该去黑社会当老大，天天看这种场面，才会天天高兴。

今天弟弟开始上课还是orientation了。跟巧凯一样在INTEC。

话说回来。我已经很久没有祝朋友生日快乐了。
为什么我没有WISH朋友生日快乐？
因为我不是神。祝了朋友也不一定就真的快乐。
我觉得空祝生日快乐，不会帮到什么。倒不如，省下两方时间，省你写的，省他读的。
有心就好。

不是吗？

And Holland WON

Last night I watched the game between Holland and Brasil.
Brasil played very well since the game started, got a goal ruled offside within 5? minutes, and a goal that made it 1-0 at 10 minute. However Holland slowly got themselves back into the game and they played better after the break. And Holland won it. Just like what I expected.
On the other hand, another quarter final game that I didn't watch was quite dramatic. Ghana was almost made it through and became the first African country to enter semi. But luck was not there.
I still think that Brasil have been playing as one of the top team in this World Cup. But a better team will not always win. And what people will remember after 100 years is not who is better, but who is listed in the hall of fame. This applies in normal daily life too.
What a sad thing.
I am having my exam in less than 5 days. I am not in the mood of studying yet. And what people remember is the bad results I have, and not that I don't really study for the exam.

It has been very long since I last wrote my novel. But it is always playing in my mind. The characters, the storyline, even the conversations. Life is just too short to really finish doing what I want plus what I need plus what people need me to do.
Although holiday is coming real soon, I doubt that I can really finish writing my novel during this holiday.
Oh, by the way, I am not going to post it out because it is hard to understand the whole story. Everything is to be imagined to understand the story.
Because I am writing the story with a different world as the settings.
Imagine reading Warcraft stories without playing it. What is Azeroth? What is the Burning Legion? Very hard to understand.

My prediction on ESWC got a little bit wrong. DTS is still in but OK is already out, and EHOME is playing like nobody's business. As predicted, Malaysia team cannot do anything big, Singapore team also same case, LOST also lost already. But I never thought that MYM could be so good here.
And Moon playing against Grubby today. I was hoping for Moon vs Grubby in the final. But whatever it is, I hope Moon will take this.
Watching him playing with just army from mercenary and Ancient of War, beating another player with Bear, is just WOW.
Grubby had a game where he used the static trap strategy, that really impressed me. Although he was playing against a lower level player, but that kind of strategy is the first time I have ever seen and that was just unbelievable.
Another nice game is Happy vs Moon, where this Undead player used Banshee plus Crypt Fiend. To counter Crypt Fiend, Night Elf can use bear and must avoid dryad and huntress. But Banshee can simply possess bears, but not dryad. And the anti spell shield is pure anti Warden.

Okay, time to work.

歇息吧

人的想法，是多余的。
明知生来等死，却还努力解除病毒，最终还是死了。
须知病菌也有生命，有生存的权利。
虽然我于大学里并非杰出学生，可是凭我的知识，人真的想太多了。

医治menopause symptoms，更准确地说是减轻，我们有荷尔蒙医疗。
即以estradiol + progestin来减少痛楚、皱纹、osteoporosis 和一大堆问题。
可是太多estrogen于体内则可导致乳癌、子宫leiomyoma 等。
还可导致venous thrombosis(?)和心脏病等。

那么，是给还是不给？

其实我倒觉得一切听天由命即可。
无须为了逃避上帝给的痛苦而引来其他麻烦。

随着医学方面的进步，迎来的问题有二：
其一，越来越多人能够活到很老。人越老则病越多，开销越大。（接着写已经可以写一篇作文）
其二，难产/早产的婴儿都能够活下来，却未必健康。通常难产或早产的人都会因脑部缺氧而终身残疾或傻呆呆。
而这等问题以前少有，因为少数人能够度过这一类难关。

所以就算我们成功解决一个问题，另一个问题会随之而来。
人类，有时候应该停下脚步，想一想，应该进还是退？
往往事情应该以退为进，一味地强进有时候会败得很惨。

ESWC

ESWC is around the corner, FIFA WC is going on, and.. block exam is just next week.
I am so fucking stress because I got no mood to study. I fear that I might fail again if this continues.
Just hope this will improve.

By the way, about ESWC...
http://www.gosugamers.net/dota/facts.php?id=140
The Electronic Sports World Cup is an international professional gaming rendez-vous where a blend of top tier players from all four corners of the world partake annually. Referred to as a microcosm of the e-Sports competitive world, the event boasts whopping sums of money at stake and puts on a quality gaming show.
This e-Sports festival is hosted by a French company called Games Services and its birth dates back to 2003.
This year's ESWC edition will be held in Disneyland Paris, France.
Commonly referred to as Euro Disney, Disneyland Paris a holiday and recreation resort in Marne-la-Vallée, a town situated in the eastern suburbs of Paris, France. The complex is located 32 km (20 miles) from the center of Paris and lies for the most part within the commune of Chessy, Seine-et-Marne.

Many people do not recognise electronic sports, or known as e-Sports as a type of sport.
Me? I am a fans of strategy-based games of e-sports.
And to those who do not know, Malaysia has a DotA team which is one of the favourite to win this year's ESWC.
While Malaysia's football team is so lousy that the world does not know them, so many Malaysians are diehard fans of football, and worse, DIEFUCKINGHARD fans of the not-really-as-good-as-their-popularity England. The linesman did not count Lampard's shot as a goal, just to let you all got an excuse only. Wake up lah.
And while Malaysia has good DotA teams known by the community, why are there so many Malaysians who don't even know what is DotA, let alone supporting it?

For this ESWC, I am supporting Moon for Warcraft 3. He has not won any medal yet so hopefully this year will be his games. For DotA I sincerely think that Malaysia has no chance due to absence of Mushi. In my opinion, either DTS or OK will win this year. Although a lot of people think that Asians are hot teams, I don't think they can be as good as these 2 teams at this moment.

Ok, have to study again.

pre exaaaaam syndrome

and now it is time, again.
pre exam syndrome.
making me feel guilty to play but yet dont have mood to study.
the results?
online more and more and do useless cock stuffs.

just finish watching germany vs england.
england played better than i thought, but germany was just too good.
and lampard, really face problem.
a goal not counted and a free kick hit the post.
although they lost i still admire one english man - their captain.
the rest were too cock.
and germany with my fifa05 team formation 4231 :D
and they proved that this is better than 442.

i will go studying in maybe half an hour time.
fucked up shit going to start soon.
almost 35 lectures, 10 days to settle.
i always believe i can finishso many lectures in so limited time.
and i have always been wrong.
maybe this time will be different?
everytime i am hoping something can happen.
and everytime i am disappointed.

whatever it is, i would just do what i can.

fuck my life

although i am a medical student, i have a fucking unhealthy lifestyle.

1. i drink water almost less than 1 litre a day, and most of them are not mineral water but coffee, carbonated drinks etc.
2. i hate green vege and avoid eating them (if possible)
3. i never do exercise and have a fucking sedentary lifestyle, sitting in front of my lap top more than 10 hours a day.
4. i may not be sleeping at night due to too much relaxation so too many last-minute works.
5. my living environment is dirty.

but from another point of view,
1. i am saving water and helping those in africa countries etc.
2. i am saving the earth by decreasing the number of greens being cut.
3. i am avoiding any sports injury.
4. my life is free from stress (if not because of stupid exams).
5. i am training my body's immunity.

only about 10 more days before i reach home. but i still have a lot to study and to really finish in time i will need to study lectures of 1 week in a day. and i need to remember every words. and i cannot afford to repeat any of them. so this is like digging my own grave again.

i still believe, results is important but not the most important thing in this world. even if a doctor knows everything, but the patient is in a stage of waiting to die, then the doctor would still fail to treat the patient. and worse is the doctor can be sued if the doctor did not infrom consent well.

and another thing i believe, is degree of intelligence is determined by 2 subjects: physics and mathematics. i am not saying myself a fucking pro in these 2 subjects, but to those who say getting good results in medical school are smart, i disagree this. i just can say they are hardworking, although they may be smart as well i dont know, and i dont care.

I was Called a Doctor!?...

this happened not due to coincidence. today we had our saturday clinic, in which we had to "treat" patients. these patients are REAL geriatric patients, with their own complaints, with their hopes on us.
maybe they had been told they were going to meet some new freshly baked noob doctors before this, so they thought we all are doctors and seriously i was like @.@"
although we have learnt a lot of physical examinations, we learnt a lot of diseases, but when it comes to real situation, this is what it was...

me: aaa... aaa... apa keluhannya?
ibu: APAAAAAAAA? (due to hearing loss)
me: keluhan ibu.
ibu: oh ...................... ......................... ..............
me: (thinking what is the correct examination)... ...

we didnt know what to do, we didnt know what to find, we didnt know what we actually didnt know and needed to know.
and then some of them asked whether we would prescribe drugs for them. -_-
and ... i just feel like i am useless afterall, and pity those old folks for wasting a good saturday morning with us.
we knew nothing, we told crap, we did bullshits, and they either believed us or didnt trust us. the former they would be happier but they just believed some stupid tales told by us. while the latter they would feel upset and disappointed and lead to depression or whatever.

laziness own

ok, i have been whining a lot of shits.
actually deep in my heart i know, the main cause of all failures is laziness.
but what causes this laziness is lack of endurance.
i try to study 30 minutes, but at 20 minute point i will start having headache, dizziness or increase in melatonin level.

after so freaking long studying medicine, i still think that my best results come from post tests of labs using microscope.
they are histology and anatomical pathology.
they seldom fail me but surprise me. HAHAHAHA!!!!
but what use if i still fail in block exam?

holland is through to the next stage now, facing slovakia??
and from all the games, i dont think they play the best.
but usually the team that plays the best will not win.
so i still think they got the biggest chance to win.
especially with robben playing, that is OMGWTF.

oh, i just changed my warcraft theme a few days back.
got a fresh look now everytime i open warcraft, and when the game ends.
i have been trying to chase back the 4 seconds, but it is fucking hard.
what i talk about is, pro players usually have their hero at 1.05 mark, while i have mine 1.09.
my fingers are too dumb.
or maybe because im using a dumb mouse? :D

back to cruel life... i still have a lot moar to study, to remember, to memorise.
understanding alone is not enough, we need to eat words by words.
and also eat other resource.
fucking retarded system.
to complete so many things in 7 weeks.
what we have to study in this block including geriatrics book (i dont know what book is the recommended one but i know we need to study this), internal medicine, anatomical pathology, some clinical anatomy etc.
how to settle in 7 weeks?
siao one.
(actually is im too lazy lah... -___-)

第二年 终

小时候，总盼望自己快一些长大。就如未进大学时的我，是多么希望自己能够快一点考进大学。从别人口中、笔中所知，大学生涯才是生活的开始。是一个要享受什么都能够的时候。

可是，第二年将完，我始终觉得大学生活不如从前快乐。虽然有些事情是比以前逍遥，可是我还是比较喜欢以前的生活。
大学出入自由，可谓毫无约束，只要出席率在某巴仙以上。
大学不需要天天补习，忙得在车上睡觉。
大学的学长权大，慢慢地学弟学妹会变成奴隶。
其好处还有一些，暂时想不到。可是为什么我还是觉得以前比较好？
大学生活，只有没生活，不然就等着考试不及格。
生活圈内养眼的实在太少。以前几乎每一天都可以养眼，现在几乎只有盼望回马来西亚。
君子难见伪君子到处皆是，口说没有实则死赴的很多。
成绩已成了生活中占太大的责任，不像以前还有很多事情要管，使以前的生活更精彩。
知足者少见，贪婪者得寸进尺的却占一半以上。

我从来都没有尝试过人所说的，大学美女如云，生活轻松，空闲时间大把。没有。生活轻松，即怠慢。更惨的是，每天要面对不知多少的伪笑而非微笑。我在你面前微笑恭喜你考到好成绩，心里诅咒道你妈的成绩比我好。性情豪放者则不见。而似我这类放水者更是唯我独尊。考试前谁能够心跳正常地在玩游戏？谁能够在别人面前说自己只读两小时书而事实就是如此？所以，知心者难找。

谈 近日

最近看足球多了，睡觉变得不规定。再加上星期四那个该死的阿哪多米考试有读到头脑，结果我睡了今天的前六个小时白天和后三个小时白天。

已经好久没有和世界沟通。今天终于又写部客。我这个星期做了一些小事。星期一我们去老人院，我和一个九十岁老阿嬷谈天。这不是我自愿的，是我被迫的。本来还以为自己没本事。可是坐在她面前后，硬着头皮先问了名字。结果，糟糕，她竟然跟我讲爪哇话。当时我傻眼了，可是我不可能就这样走掉。所以只好傻笑。她记忆已衰退，连续问了我名字多遍，听力亦已不好，脚已不能走路。
另我感到有点不知所措的，是当她说我很bagus。其实每一次听到别人说我bagus都会觉得不知该说什么，因为我也不知道自己是不是有资格被称bagus。在不同人的眼里，我的地位也不同。有些人认为我bagus，有些人认为我很cb，一大堆不同的看法。可是我还是我，就像最近看戏学到的话。昨天的人看错了我，今天的人看错了我，可是我还是我。不管他们是不是明白我的想法。
还要讲的是，我平时说话少，可是说到做到。这是我所谓的do your talking, not talk your doing。总之有些人就只会说，不会做，还要拼命地说。还不如我久久一次开口，然后就做。我说过要你走路，我就不会等，直接开引擎走了。:P
这还不是吗？从以前到现在都是大胆去做的人称王。可是为什么在这里的人大多数都是鼠胆之辈？上面的办事我们不满，就应该造反。就如中国历史昏君被反，改朝换代，封自己为王。而且我们经历了那么多次，就应该明白，谈判不会有结果。我说了，要让他们知道我们的厉害，就应该大举逃课。结果呢？还是没有人肯。那么他们就知道，不管他们做什么鸟事，最终我们还是会低头。以后我们说话，他们还会听吗？
所以啊，平时我不出声，不是我赞同，不是我没意见。只是我说了就会尝试去做。再说，我开口就等于浪费大家的时间，何不大家早点回家做自己想做的事情。有一些人，却好像没开口会浑身不舒服。你不出声不代表你是哑巴！说这么多话，有用吗？最重要的是行动不是声音。声音只是暂时有用而已。就像开战时擂鼓，只能振作士气，打赢战还需杀死敌方。

明天父亲节咯。今年的父亲节爸爸有个礼物，就是弟弟得到奖学金。可是今年的母亲节妈妈得到的却是伤心。就如我当年。再过不久家里就只剩下父母和最小的弟弟，连狗也走了。真是会很冷清。可是再过不到20天，我就回家了。再可是，这两个星期会十分艰苦。要读很多书，很忧闷。

sick

have been sick since monday.
i felt my body was attacked during the lecture, that was some weird feeling but very true.
and the night i got shit headache and fever and feeling of vomitting and anorexia.
my first thought was.. this is not a normal sick already.
as days passed, the fever got decreased and headache got lightened. but there was an addition of dizziness.
yesterday finally i went to hospital to consult a doctor, and did a blood test.
but still, dont know what is this shit.
i have been skipping almost all the classes since monday.

前奏

古时，天地尚于混沌状态。在此时，盘古生在其间，不断成长，天地原本混沌状态不能容纳其身体而分裂，“精气”上升为天，“浊气”降为地。

盘古死后，其精、气、神分化成为三大神。分别为伏羲、神农、女娲，被成为“三皇”。盘古之心悬于天地之间成为连接天地的纽带，并与天界清气所钟之地连接，因清浊交汇而生“神树”，成为天界生命之源。

因天地间生灵太少，三皇分别以不同形式创造生灵。伏羲以神树吸收神界清气所结的果实为躯体，注入自己强大的精力，创造出“神”。由于神树果实来源稀少，因此神的数量极少，但灵力强大。神不耐大地浊气，因此居于天，形成神界。神虽然有男女之分，但交合繁衍后神本体会失去灵力逐渐死亡，并不能增加神 的数量，因此被严禁交合繁衍。神农以大地土石草木为体，灌注自身气力，创造出“兽”（包括走兽昆虫）。因神农注重数量和能 力，因此兽的种类、数量很多，且能力多样，但是心智没有开蒙。女娲以黄土、水混合，附以自身血液和灵力，用杨柳枝条点化，依自己模样塑造，创造出“人”。人体 态优美，富有智慧，但体力较逊，虽然没有特别的能力，但领悟力极强。女娲替人类立了婚姻制度，使青年男女互相婚配，繁衍后代。

神居于天，人兽居于地，另有鬼界作为人、兽等生灵的轮回中转之所。数万年来相安无事。后因人兽 过度繁衍，时有冲突。不久，人间出现了一个残酷统治者名波旬。他与其部下向人类开战，断除人类性命，意图独占大地。此役惊动了天上神族，终于取得援手，在一位神将指挥下战败波旬。波旬逃亡时打开了通往异界的通道，与残部于异界修炼，后人称他们为“魔”。这异界也因此得了“魔界”之名。从此，神族与魔界势不两立。

此役之后，伏羲以对抗魔界为名，在神界建立了等级制度，并自封为“天帝”，规定神的地位高于人类，由神族统治大地，而人必须侍奉神，扩大神界对人间的控制和支配。

数万年下来，神族渐渐腐败，人类也对神的积怨已久，终于爆发起义。天帝下令镇压，遭到人类顽强抵抗。天帝恼怒，在人间发了特大灾难，天塌地陷，洪水泛滥。女娲熔炼五色石修补苍天，拯救人类。女娲对抗了天帝使得天帝开除女娲的神籍。但经深思后觉得神族也有不对之处，于是下令所有神族回到天界，封闭天界之门，下令神不得任意到人界，从此人神二界完全隔绝。女娲救了人类，于是有人奉她为娲皇。又因女娲立了婚姻制度，固被传为婚姻女神。另传女娲制造了一个叫笙簧的乐器，而又称为音乐女神。

偶有人类或兽类向正道修炼，激发出自身的灵力，而成“仙”。同时，人类与兽类若修炼时心念不正，依然能够激发其灵力而成“妖”。有人道，仙乃成神之径，妖乃为魔之途。可是，神乃伏羲以神树吸收神界清气所结的果实再注入其精力所创造出来的，是以此说法还有不正确之处。

神、仙、人、妖、魔、鬼六界，便是因此而来。连通神界与魔界的唯一通道，神魔两方各设有重重障碍，并有重兵防守，严禁两界生灵通过。神界与人界也自女娲补天后隔绝。鬼界乃人与兽转世之处，故此人类无法擅自进出。时有鬼仍然徘徊于人间而不得轮回，需要得道人士超度。虽说人界、仙界与妖界为三个不同的世界，但依然有仙和妖出现在人间。

hari waisak

finally i have decided to change the beginning and the ending of the story, and probably i will start working today.

wesak day... holiday...

this wesak day plus weekend combo is one of the longest holiday we are having. sad case.

as life goes on, more and more gays appear. such a sad world i am living in. maybe they are not gay, but they just show their gay side? oh shit, they still look gay and lead me think that they are gay. so they are gay.

while many are complaining about the hot weather in malaysia, here everyday (almost) is raining. nice weather for a nap.

so i should listen to the sky's will and go to sleep.

日惹，我回来了

四点零五分，飞机着陆于日惹机场。
我，回来了。

星期三的考试如预料中，很难。它是2.1 remedial 后最难的一张。
可是管它做什么？考完试就应该痛快地庆祝一番！
大吃大喝大玩了一夜，隔天中午就搭飞机到耶嘉达。
星期四至星期日我们在印尼首都度假。
有坐Merc德士，有吃各种昂贵食物，买贵牌衣。此番出去，我只带了睡觉穿的衣服，其他的在那边买。
然后看足球Champions League决赛。

终于我又回到现实。
回到属于我的生活。

读懒

生活很寂寞。睡觉醒来就面对着电脑，关了电脑就是睡觉。这就是所谓的“睡醒打开眼睛第一个看到的就是你，睡前最后一个看到的也是你”。好浪漫……

现在又是考试来临之时。要努力读书，可是力不从心，只好读一下玩一下。
当初考SPM时我并不需要这样“读一下玩一下”，因为我那时候感情有所寄托。不管多累，只要能够线上聊几句，精神又回来了。
现在……悲哀啊。
就如我告诉我朋友的，线上一女友，生活一女友。线上的是给我们精神上的鼓励，而生活的才是真的女友。可是难道生活的女友不能够给精神上的鼓励？生活的女友，会吵架，会不开心而闹分手。往往带来的不是鼓励而是挫折。线上的，不会有这些问题。因为它是假的。假的，都是好的。

祝我读书愉快吧。

results for 2.4

Result was released yesterday and one thing that I am so fucking stress is the truth that only 3 people got A. Although A is not my business, but 3 people out of nearly 90 people make it like some fuck of a thing to happen.

I give an example. In a company there are 100 workers. 50 of them are lepak kakis, come to work late and go back early, or even ponteng kerja. 25 of them come to work and go back home on time, never curi tulang, but the performance is not that good. 20 of them work well and we cannot ask for more already. 5 of them always do OT without extra payment and they are fucking efficient. So when this company wants to give them grade, the 50 would be C or D or E class workers because they are too lousy, but depend on their working efficiency also lah. The 25 should be the B class workers, because they are almost perfect except their works are not really perfect. The 20 are grade A workers. They already can be role models for others. And the 5 would be S class worker - super class. Because they do so much and so good and ... lazy to write.

Anyone disagree with this example?

So, our grading should never be like this! The 5 being A, 20 being B, 25 being C and 50 D and E! What the hell? The exam questions always ask too many extra things from lecture notes, thus we are so fucking hard to get high mark, unless we are studying like very hardworking. Imagine, for 1 week we need to, not only read all about Cancers, but also to REMEMBER all the info! Then the next week we need to read and remember autoimmune and hormonal disorders, and many many more, and then we cannot afford to forget what we read last week, last last week ...

And with this they are playing our CGPA.

Although this time I am satisfied with my result, seeing only 3 people got A is still... GRRRRR... And oh yeah, because 2.4 I stopped DotA, that is why I can get correct X question, during the exam I calculated the maximum question I can correct is X. Meaning all the question I think I can answer correctly were all correct! :D

9/5/2010

Tomorrow, my brother will start his new life at matriculation.
So tonight, he will leave SP together with my father.
And so, from that moment onwards, my house at SP will only have 3 persons living there. The dog has gone, 3 brothers have left.
I don't know how quiet will it be in the house, soon. With my parents working, and my brother going to school and tuitions.

Today is Mother's Day? But what to celebrate here. Studying. For tomorrow's cp and next week's block exam.
Reading the lecture notes that are killing me slowly.
I don't know why my tolerance for WORDS is decreasing day by day. I just cannot study for 5 minutes continuously.
Feel like shit.

So tomorrow people would be entering form 6 and matriculation. Some rich people would ignore both and just wait for scholarship or go to college if fail.
This is life. Rich people get what they want.
As I always say, money has 2 functions. One is to keep, so that you will be rich. Another one is to spend, so that you get what you want. Poor people cannot choose freely how they want to manage money, but rich people can.

Hence, there will be homesicks, there will be sadness, there will be "OMG come back to school again" and most importantly, there will be "fuck, need to study again" for these people.
In my opinion, if you want to maintain as a smart person, go to form 6 or matriculation then. You learn more than Cambridge A Level. And study physics please because that is really an interesting subject to study, and still useful to our daily lives. Unlike many other subjects that seem to be interesting, they are usually useless.

A common quote: OMWTFG tomorrow is MONDAY again!
As I live on, I feel that every Sunday is a nightmare, for the next day will be MONDAY.
Oh, why is it called Monday? Because it is a Mourn Day.
I just want to santai and lepak, but time just does not let me to do so.
And.. I had a dream, dreamt that I was in one of my tuitions during form 5, and got caned again for laziness. And everytime I attend Dr Carla lectures or tutorials I just have the feeling of one of my tuitions during form 4.
Seriously it shows that I still love my life during form 4 and 5. No worries, be happy, and... many more.

Happy Mother's Day

故 事

今天终于写到第四个有名字的人物出现，可能第五个也会在今晚出现。
可是名字还没有想好。

到现在我也不晓得写了多少字。总觉得如果要这样继续写下去，一定会超过二万字。如果形容事、人、物能更仔细，我想要突破十万字也是可以的。

至于要不要放上来，这决定很难做。
因为我写的是在另一个世界所发生的，而我的文笔不好，怕放上来没有人明白。
还有就是，宗教是我故事里一个很重要的元素，我怕会有人不赞成我改变了一些东西。

故事纯属虚构嘛！
我改变一些东西，不算大罪，不是吗？

劳动节劳动

劳动节快乐！

今天终于开始写兜在我脑里很久的故事。
这是我停笔几年后的第一个作品，有点期待……
其实还算蛮顺利。
早上睡醒，午饭后又继续，已经超过一千五百字了。
故事到现在已经出现了三个有名字的人。

梁友金：名虽良友，乃损友一名。
林萧清：人如其名，清静中现萧，大声角色一名。
许志丁：志如丁，只会跟着梁友金混。

取他们名字时也只是顺其自然，却发现和我要写的角色能牵上关系。
再过三天吧，我就能把故事带入正题。
老实说，我不是很喜欢自己形容人物的动作。
希望接下来会慢慢进步，因为接下来的动作和背景都很重要。
所以呀，有时间可能自己会修订。
把动作写得更仔细。
把感情带出来。

故事要什么题目？
还不知道。

background music

Sometimes, life would be so nice if there is always background music behind every scenes we are living in. :)

When thinking alone in a silent room... a peaceful tone would make thinking quicker.
When dating a girl... a romantic song would make the time more beautiful.

But who would be there to determine which song to play on every seconds of life? And how could the song reach our ears?

That is why while doing reports my lap top has to be here, playing some songs as the background music.

Research shows that human activity is affected by sounds, or more accurately background music.
If fast-tempo music is played, human would move more quickly. So if a shopping mall manager is smart, he/she would always choose some soothing and relaxing music to play so that the customers would be slower and, thus, shop more!

Besides, music can bring back memories. And memories do actually fill up my free time. Although I don't really have somewhat super-unforgettable memory, I still like to think back those old times... and I would really have tears out if proper background music is there.

Some of the best musics always come from movies, dramas and games. But for quite a big group of people, good musics come from good-looking guys or chicks, or certain ethnics ( like those Korean fanboys do, only Korean musics are good for them :D )
Close your eyes, and listen with your heart.
Good musics do not have colours, but they give our lives colours.

Oh, it would be so freaking nice if the big TV in our IP building to play Balamb Garden background music. :D

故事

无聊中……

由于想要插入故事中的一大部分不适合写在宋朝时候，我只好把之前那故事改了背景，换另一个世界。
可是我在想，这样会不会太小孩化？

只要时间来临，我会开始写。
虽然还没有完全想好到底要有多少人物出现在内，可是我一路来都是顺其自然的。

其实，连主角是男人还是女人我都犹豫着。
只是想到后来，还是写男人好，因为我不是女人，有些事我不明白。
既然已经差不多肯定要写的是男人，那么我又要学习形容女人的字眼了。
很闷很够力却蛮重要的。

我希望这次的故事能够超过两万字。
虽然以前已经做得到，毕竟停笔久了，需要重新热身。
之后呢，可能会出修订版。
因为现在我还不知道开头和结尾应该怎样写。

这个故事我在考虑是不是要放上来。
因为我怕献丑……

dota competition

I have been busy these few days, for there was PKPMI DotA competition. Being in one of the teams to watch and the drafter of the team, I feel that if there is anything wrong I am the one to blame. Maybe it is just what I feel and not by others, but I still quite tension with it.
Marlboro has been the top gun but I know there is chance to win this competition. I don't care what Marlboro team members talk about us. From what I heard, they are not scared of our team. But from what they have been doing, I am sure that in their mind we are the only team they need to worry of. Because, they have been saving our replays almost everytime after playing with us. This shows that they have been finding solution to break our team play. So, are they really not afraid of our team?
We lost 4 games in total in the competition, while in league we lost to Marlboro and in semi we lost 1 to AFB and another 2 in final, to Marlboro. I do not blame anyone for getting silver, it was me who did not pick heroes properly due to lack of confidence in using SF and Lanaya. If I were given a chance to play again, I would still do the same thing.

I am here writing about this, to tell people that I am not so desperate for the win, unlike some people out there.
1st, I was the one who create the rules and if I really want to win this, I could have set the mode as -cd and not -cm. We are the team who first used most heroes and in -cd we would have a lot more advantages.
2nd, my lap top has no Warcraft III programme so I cannot watch any replay or practise at home. And I only touch back DotA 3 weeks before the competition.
3rd, all the finalists have Razer equipments except 2 from our team and 2 from Marlboro, and 2 of these people are sub for the teams respectively. So, can I who spend 0 win those who spent more than RM300? If can, Razer can quit already right?
4th, as I said before, Marlboro watched our replays while we didn't. But this is not against the rule so I am not blaming them. It just shows that they want to beat us so much that they spent some time on us.
5th, I did not use dota key during the whole competition. Even juniors use it. People who don't have Razer mouse and do not use dota key and reach final, that is me.

So if I win the competition, it is against the norm from the 5 reasons above. A person who do not see DotA as life and spend so much money and time on it, playing on par with those people, losing can be forgiven.
But there is one game that I am disappointed. The 2nd game of semi was so fail that I am still feeling sad.
Since it is over and the next DotA competition is far away, I am here to give some comments.
1st, playing with 2 carry heroes cannot win a team with same or higher skill level.
2nd, Akasha as warder, NA + Silencer, Vengeful and CM picks are my own ideas. I do not get them from any replays so I would like to copyright them. >D
3rd, I didn't use planned strategy, Obsidian + BB.
4th, I am the player who buy most wards from the competition.
5th, if I have to choose 1 MVP of the competition, it would be AARON.
6th, I am quiting again, until the next competition or playing for birthday boys.
7th, why are there people who did not think how to counter opponent's strategy, when I already revealed the opponent's heroes?
8th, being poor is one of the reasons people cannot play games at highest level, just like me.
9th, I won't train harder for the next competition,but I expect harder games.
10th, this competition is generally boring.

谈读书

看了一部戏，戏中有一句话一直被重复：

不求荣华富贵，但求能够开开心心地生活。

小时候我可说是一个很 猛 的学生。读书成绩好，参加什么都会得奖。琴棋书画样样都有学。
可是为什么现在却什么都没有？

因为早在数十年前我就理解了。

琴，我至今只会皮毛。
棋，我只会下。
书，用铅笔书写还好。
画，老故事了。

以前的我，成绩好，是因为以前真的觉得自己不可以输给别人。渐渐地觉得，成绩好真的那么重要吗？

所以，到了我盛年的末期，我开始觉得那些读书读到半死不活的人很可怜。那些读书读到半死不活而又不敢跟别人说自己有读书的人很可恶。那些读书读到半死不活而又不敢承认自己有读书而又阻止别人读书的人很没用。

其实啊，如果觉得读书能带来乐趣，那么人生就可以得到快乐和好成绩。可是，我不能。

当一个人即将死去，他所遗憾的，会是考不到好成绩，还是生活不快乐，还是辜负了别人，还是没能和心爱的人在一起？

如果我有三生，我所遗憾的，会是后面三个选择，也不会轮到成绩。

所以，我成绩不比别人好，不是因为我笨，而是我对我生活所领悟的不同。

说话

在马来西亚，不会说华语的华人都被称 香蕉人。因为香蕉外黄内白。马来西亚不会说华语的华人有超过80%是英文教育，外层黄色里面却像洋人。

有些香蕉人是世代香蕉的，他们或许不会说华语，可是懂得福建、广东、潮州等话。他们通常不把孩子送到华校，所以就成了香蕉家族。

有些香蕉人却是令我看扁和生气的。我记得我遇过一华族小孩，只会说英文，是个香蕉人。可是，他竟然觉得学习华语是一种耻辱，不学习英文很违反天理的样子。真想一巴掌打他。我听说新加坡的华人也有很多都认为学习华语老土，没用，而视英文为神。

我不是说英文不好，可是身为华人而不尊重自己祖先所传的语言，不用也罢，竟还讨厌它，这是什么啊？

老实说，我老爸也是个不懂华语的，而懂福建话的人。可是他也在慢慢地学习。

可是有一点，我们华人做得很好的是，如若两个人都懂得华语，所用的语言就是华语，除非是用本地语言如福建话等。这情况在马来西亚印度人间就比较难得。虽然两个人都懂得淡米儿文，却不一定会用它来沟通。

当然，这情景在衰退。试问现代社会，你见到一个陌生华人而且从来没见他开口过，你是用英语还是华语来打招呼？我所遇过的，是用英语。

就算我们用华语交谈，可是我们的华语已经不是正宗华语，而是马来西亚华语。就如 麻坡的华语，只有我们本地人会感到满意，别人不爽是别人的事。

试瞧瞧，身边多少人用“说”这个字，就明白了。

名字

今天想用华文写一篇文章。

身为华人，我们都有华文名字。很可惜现今社会，名字是同一个东西，不像古时候的人，有名也有字。拥有华文名字，是我们华人的一种象征。我在印尼读书，本地的华人也是有华文名字的。

可是所谓的潮流，让现代的年轻华人，尤其是会读会写的，把华文名字看成一个不值得被提的东西。非基督教徒自取英文名；哈韩哈日族以韩、日语代替自己的名字。这种事情不止发生于文化掺杂的马来西亚，连中国、台湾也有。

印尼的华人没有受到华文教育，他们能够学华文，也只有课外补习或家人来教导他们。他们反而比会读会写华文的华人更看重华文名字。只要有能力和有机会，他们会用他们华文名字。不像另一些人，自取英文或韩、日名字的。

华人名字拥有姓氏，每一个姓每一个氏都有自己的历史。据我所知，这是世界上最古老的，最特别的名字。

韩国与日本的根，还是中国。他们也是汉人的后代。可是为什么我们有哈韩、哈日，没有哈中？



我从小到现在，都以我的华文名字为荣。肥死部客上我用华文名字，别人称呼我都是华文名字，上课签名我写华文名字。