很久没有来写东西了。有时候来了,懒惰写。有时候写了,觉得不好,就删除掉。所以到现在,2012年,这是第三篇日志。以前呢,至少一个星期会写一篇,勤劳的时候甚至每一天都写。现在的我,怎么了?
先说说今天吧,二月二十四号。今天终于考完了最后一张重考的试卷。也就是说,我最后一次考这个样子的试了。虽然已经考完试了,但是更够力的事情等着发生。接下来,我面对的是真的病人了。只是,不知道什么时候才开始我去医院的日子。
明天我就会去Bali度假。去浪费钱,浪费时间。希望一切顺利吧。
2012的开始,就是一个惊喜。接着的日子算不上风平浪静,虽然也不是大风大雨。每两三天就会刮一阵风下一场雨。害得我活得紧张,深怕什么时候走错了,就会遭雨淋受风吹。
2012一月,我上4.3的第二个module——Pathology Forensic。这一行算是我在还没有进大学时的梦想之一。所以我上这个module的时候,我尽全力地听课,然后我发现……我深深地爱上它了。虽然自己很怕鬼,但是我觉得,爱得深,已经顾不得那么多了。如果日子还是平平淡淡地过,没有特别的事情再发生,毫无疑问的,我将specialize于这一行——法医!我喜欢它的第一个原因,也是最主要的原因,是不需要给药。药很难读,我很不喜欢读,但是偏偏要医病人就一定要开药方。给药,不止要对症下药,还要给对数量,还要考虑药与药之间或药与食物之间相互的作用,还要考虑到药的副作用……很麻烦的。就算是到现在,过完了theory years,我还没有完全掌控所有的药。单单antibiotic就有很多种类,每一种又有很多品牌,每一品牌的功能都不同,然后又要考虑以上的问题……我要做法医的另一个原因……是兴趣吧。兴趣,是一个毫无里头的原因。你说有兴趣,你就可以不顾一切地去做。
读了三个星期的forensic,我真的觉得自己应该提起勇气去追梦。虽然,还是会怕鬼,还有,尸体会很恐怖和很臭……
之后,就忙着过新年。虽然在这里过新年,根本算不上忙,因为不需要到处去拜访亲戚。但是,那个时候正是考试时期。我就不管考试那么多,先好好地庆祝新年再说。反正啊,4.3我选的HIV related TB和Forensic,前者只有12个lecture要读,后者不必读也可以去考。正月初一,我又去庙上香。初一的庙很不同,有很多人,香火很旺。我还买了大根的一对蜡烛来拜。够力咯。
4.3的考试不算太难,至少,对我来说。之后就必须开始抽空准备OSCE Compre,同时还要赶完我的thesis。
OSCE Compre是Objective Stimulated Clinical Examination,如果我没有记错的话。总之就是考clinical skills,如接生啊,CPR啊,吊水啊之类的。Compre就是Comprehensive。OSCE Compre是一个考试,来决定我们是第几wave进入我们的clinical rotation,即clinical years,或是practical years,在本地叫KOAS (ko-asisten)。
Thesis就是做research,是我们毕业的一个主要条件。话说虽然我很迟才开始(最早开始的好像是2010年就开始做了,我现在才开始),可是我和其他五位跟的这位医生——Dr Gofir,一个神经系(NERVE,不是PSYCHO),他是出了名的最迟开始最早结束的医生。所以我也没有太大的担心。在奋斗、努力、煎熬了大约一个星期,就做好了。其他人啊,有些甚至还做苦力做了整整一年才把研究做好。我们算起来,是很轻松的了。可以说是,唯一的难度,在于和医生玩捉迷藏。有时候为了见到医生,花了整半天,见面时说话五分钟就完了。
后来考OSCE Compre,我紧张到不能睡觉两晚。很夸张啊。因为我很看重它,我要第一批去Koas。我很早以前就开始练习,可是到了考试当日,不得不承认,我很紧张,太紧张了。连我在家的时候,我练习的时候,穿手套是先穿右边再穿左边的,考试的时候我竟然先穿左边!这个看起来好像没有什么大不了。可是,其实,这就是乱了脚步的现象。所以,有很多很基本的东西,我都颠倒了它的秩序。有些不该忘记的东西,我都紧张到忘记了。总的来说,我第三年的OSCE比这一次的好几万倍。第三年的OSCE,我根本是很镇定地完成所有的skills。这一次,全部都很乱来。
所以,我很伤心,伤心了大约一个星期。一个星期内,连当日我用的书包都不敢碰。因为里面还有我当日用的东西。
那一天,是二月十四号情人节。我与OSCE有个约会。可是,约会却是悲剧收场。
OSCE Compre后就开始应付重考。我报名了四个block,分别为1.5,2.6,2.2和3.2。我的打算是从这当中加四点,然后我就应该可以得到CGPA 3.20了。其实CGPA 3.00和3.20并没有差别,因为我们这里只有3.50以上被叫coum loude,以下的都是……没有什么称呼了。只是自己考自己爽罢了。
所以我就不是真的很努力地读。只是我还是希望能升到3.20以上啦。
所以我就考到今天,考完了,明天就去度假了!
(对了,我的生日礼物,还没有show出来……是一个书包和一支笔。)
Friday, February 24, 2012
Monday, February 6, 2012
again, i have been lazy for a long time. about more than half a month since the last post.
actually not to say lazy, but i have been busy with my exam, graduating paper, and osce preparation. although with some time spent for relaxation. and due to lack of idea of what to write also. so... the result, no post.
i set my facebook account so that only me can post on my own wall, so... yeah, no one could post birthday wish on my wall yesterday. some still wished me though, through facebook messages or sms or face to face. my gratitude from the deepest part of my heart, but you cannot feel it. so... just pretend you feel it.
finally got to celebrate my birthday on my birthday with my friends. and got some awesome presents, as usual.
my birthday was accompanied by a sad thing, which was... completing the discussion and conclusion of my graduating paper. it took me quite some time to finally learn a little bit on how to analyze the thing, due to some changes that made my thesis had to changed almost totally. and then spent quite some time again to type things out. hopefully now it is acceptable by the doctors. damned.
there are a few more important tests ahead which only allow success. but, you know, success is not meant for everyone. one has to work hard and be lucky to achieve that. so, i can only say, hopefully. hopefully everything goes smoothly as what i want.
actually not to say lazy, but i have been busy with my exam, graduating paper, and osce preparation. although with some time spent for relaxation. and due to lack of idea of what to write also. so... the result, no post.
i set my facebook account so that only me can post on my own wall, so... yeah, no one could post birthday wish on my wall yesterday. some still wished me though, through facebook messages or sms or face to face. my gratitude from the deepest part of my heart, but you cannot feel it. so... just pretend you feel it.
finally got to celebrate my birthday on my birthday with my friends. and got some awesome presents, as usual.
my birthday was accompanied by a sad thing, which was... completing the discussion and conclusion of my graduating paper. it took me quite some time to finally learn a little bit on how to analyze the thing, due to some changes that made my thesis had to changed almost totally. and then spent quite some time again to type things out. hopefully now it is acceptable by the doctors. damned.
there are a few more important tests ahead which only allow success. but, you know, success is not meant for everyone. one has to work hard and be lucky to achieve that. so, i can only say, hopefully. hopefully everything goes smoothly as what i want.
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