人的想法，是多余的。
明知生来等死，却还努力解除病毒，最终还是死了。
须知病菌也有生命，有生存的权利。
虽然我于大学里并非杰出学生，可是凭我的知识，人真的想太多了。
医治menopause symptoms，更准确地说是减轻，我们有荷尔蒙医疗。
即以estradiol + progestin来减少痛楚、皱纹、osteoporosis 和一大堆问题。
可是太多estrogen于体内则可导致乳癌、子宫leiomyoma 等。
还可导致venous thrombosis(?)和心脏病等。
那么，是给还是不给？
其实我倒觉得一切听天由命即可。
无须为了逃避上帝给的痛苦而引来其他麻烦。
随着医学方面的进步，迎来的问题有二：
其一，越来越多人能够活到很老。人越老则病越多，开销越大。（接着写已经可以写一篇作文）
其二，难产/早产的婴儿都能够活下来，却未必健康。通常难产或早产的人都会因脑部缺氧而终身残疾或傻呆呆。
而这等问题以前少有，因为少数人能够度过这一类难关。
所以就算我们成功解决一个问题，另一个问题会随之而来。
人类，有时候应该停下脚步，想一想，应该进还是退？
往往事情应该以退为进，一味地强进有时候会败得很惨。
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
ESWC
ESWC is around the corner, FIFA WC is going on, and.. block exam is just next week.
I am so fucking stress because I got no mood to study. I fear that I might fail again if this continues.
Just hope this will improve.
By the way, about ESWC...
http://www.gosugamers.net/dota/facts.php?id=140
The Electronic Sports World Cup is an international professional gaming rendez-vous where a blend of top tier players from all four corners of the world partake annually. Referred to as a microcosm of the e-Sports competitive world, the event boasts whopping sums of money at stake and puts on a quality gaming show.
This e-Sports festival is hosted by a French company called Games Services and its birth dates back to 2003.
This year's ESWC edition will be held in Disneyland Paris, France.
Commonly referred to as Euro Disney, Disneyland Paris a holiday and recreation resort in Marne-la-Vallée, a town situated in the eastern suburbs of Paris, France. The complex is located 32 km (20 miles) from the center of Paris and lies for the most part within the commune of Chessy, Seine-et-Marne.
Many people do not recognise electronic sports, or known as e-Sports as a type of sport.
Me? I am a fans of strategy-based games of e-sports.
And to those who do not know, Malaysia has a DotA team which is one of the favourite to win this year's ESWC.
While Malaysia's football team is so lousy that the world does not know them, so many Malaysians are diehard fans of football, and worse, DIEFUCKINGHARD fans of the not-really-as-good-as-their-popularity England. The linesman did not count Lampard's shot as a goal, just to let you all got an excuse only. Wake up lah.
And while Malaysia has good DotA teams known by the community, why are there so many Malaysians who don't even know what is DotA, let alone supporting it?
For this ESWC, I am supporting Moon for Warcraft 3. He has not won any medal yet so hopefully this year will be his games. For DotA I sincerely think that Malaysia has no chance due to absence of Mushi. In my opinion, either DTS or OK will win this year. Although a lot of people think that Asians are hot teams, I don't think they can be as good as these 2 teams at this moment.
Ok, have to study again.
I am so fucking stress because I got no mood to study. I fear that I might fail again if this continues.
Just hope this will improve.
By the way, about ESWC...
http://www.gosugamers.net/dota/facts.php?id=140
The Electronic Sports World Cup is an international professional gaming rendez-vous where a blend of top tier players from all four corners of the world partake annually. Referred to as a microcosm of the e-Sports competitive world, the event boasts whopping sums of money at stake and puts on a quality gaming show.
This e-Sports festival is hosted by a French company called Games Services and its birth dates back to 2003.
This year's ESWC edition will be held in Disneyland Paris, France.
Commonly referred to as Euro Disney, Disneyland Paris a holiday and recreation resort in Marne-la-Vallée, a town situated in the eastern suburbs of Paris, France. The complex is located 32 km (20 miles) from the center of Paris and lies for the most part within the commune of Chessy, Seine-et-Marne.
Many people do not recognise electronic sports, or known as e-Sports as a type of sport.
Me? I am a fans of strategy-based games of e-sports.
And to those who do not know, Malaysia has a DotA team which is one of the favourite to win this year's ESWC.
While Malaysia's football team is so lousy that the world does not know them, so many Malaysians are diehard fans of football, and worse, DIEFUCKINGHARD fans of the not-really-as-good-as-their-popularity England. The linesman did not count Lampard's shot as a goal, just to let you all got an excuse only. Wake up lah.
And while Malaysia has good DotA teams known by the community, why are there so many Malaysians who don't even know what is DotA, let alone supporting it?
For this ESWC, I am supporting Moon for Warcraft 3. He has not won any medal yet so hopefully this year will be his games. For DotA I sincerely think that Malaysia has no chance due to absence of Mushi. In my opinion, either DTS or OK will win this year. Although a lot of people think that Asians are hot teams, I don't think they can be as good as these 2 teams at this moment.
Ok, have to study again.
Monday, June 28, 2010
pre exaaaaam syndrome
and now it is time, again.
pre exam syndrome.
making me feel guilty to play but yet dont have mood to study.
the results?
online more and more and do useless cock stuffs.
just finish watching germany vs england.
england played better than i thought, but germany was just too good.
and lampard, really face problem.
a goal not counted and a free kick hit the post.
although they lost i still admire one english man - their captain.
the rest were too cock.
and germany with my fifa05 team formation 4231 :D
and they proved that this is better than 442.
i will go studying in maybe half an hour time.
fucked up shit going to start soon.
almost 35 lectures, 10 days to settle.
i always believe i can finishso many lectures in so limited time.
and i have always been wrong.
maybe this time will be different?
everytime i am hoping something can happen.
and everytime i am disappointed.
whatever it is, i would just do what i can.
pre exam syndrome.
making me feel guilty to play but yet dont have mood to study.
the results?
online more and more and do useless cock stuffs.
just finish watching germany vs england.
england played better than i thought, but germany was just too good.
and lampard, really face problem.
a goal not counted and a free kick hit the post.
although they lost i still admire one english man - their captain.
the rest were too cock.
and germany with my fifa05 team formation 4231 :D
and they proved that this is better than 442.
i will go studying in maybe half an hour time.
fucked up shit going to start soon.
almost 35 lectures, 10 days to settle.
i always believe i can finishso many lectures in so limited time.
and i have always been wrong.
maybe this time will be different?
everytime i am hoping something can happen.
and everytime i am disappointed.
whatever it is, i would just do what i can.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
fuck my life
although i am a medical student, i have a fucking unhealthy lifestyle.
1. i drink water almost less than 1 litre a day, and most of them are not mineral water but coffee, carbonated drinks etc.
2. i hate green vege and avoid eating them (if possible)
3. i never do exercise and have a fucking sedentary lifestyle, sitting in front of my lap top more than 10 hours a day.
4. i may not be sleeping at night due to too much relaxation so too many last-minute works.
5. my living environment is dirty.
but from another point of view,
1. i am saving water and helping those in africa countries etc.
2. i am saving the earth by decreasing the number of greens being cut.
3. i am avoiding any sports injury.
4. my life is free from stress (if not because of stupid exams).
5. i am training my body's immunity.
only about 10 more days before i reach home. but i still have a lot to study and to really finish in time i will need to study lectures of 1 week in a day. and i need to remember every words. and i cannot afford to repeat any of them. so this is like digging my own grave again.
i still believe, results is important but not the most important thing in this world. even if a doctor knows everything, but the patient is in a stage of waiting to die, then the doctor would still fail to treat the patient. and worse is the doctor can be sued if the doctor did not infrom consent well.
and another thing i believe, is degree of intelligence is determined by 2 subjects: physics and mathematics. i am not saying myself a fucking pro in these 2 subjects, but to those who say getting good results in medical school are smart, i disagree this. i just can say they are hardworking, although they may be smart as well i dont know, and i dont care.
1. i drink water almost less than 1 litre a day, and most of them are not mineral water but coffee, carbonated drinks etc.
2. i hate green vege and avoid eating them (if possible)
3. i never do exercise and have a fucking sedentary lifestyle, sitting in front of my lap top more than 10 hours a day.
4. i may not be sleeping at night due to too much relaxation so too many last-minute works.
5. my living environment is dirty.
but from another point of view,
1. i am saving water and helping those in africa countries etc.
2. i am saving the earth by decreasing the number of greens being cut.
3. i am avoiding any sports injury.
4. my life is free from stress (if not because of stupid exams).
5. i am training my body's immunity.
only about 10 more days before i reach home. but i still have a lot to study and to really finish in time i will need to study lectures of 1 week in a day. and i need to remember every words. and i cannot afford to repeat any of them. so this is like digging my own grave again.
i still believe, results is important but not the most important thing in this world. even if a doctor knows everything, but the patient is in a stage of waiting to die, then the doctor would still fail to treat the patient. and worse is the doctor can be sued if the doctor did not infrom consent well.
and another thing i believe, is degree of intelligence is determined by 2 subjects: physics and mathematics. i am not saying myself a fucking pro in these 2 subjects, but to those who say getting good results in medical school are smart, i disagree this. i just can say they are hardworking, although they may be smart as well i dont know, and i dont care.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
I was Called a Doctor!?...
this happened not due to coincidence. today we had our saturday clinic, in which we had to "treat" patients. these patients are REAL geriatric patients, with their own complaints, with their hopes on us.
maybe they had been told they were going to meet some new freshly baked noob doctors before this, so they thought we all are doctors and seriously i was like @.@"
although we have learnt a lot of physical examinations, we learnt a lot of diseases, but when it comes to real situation, this is what it was...
me: aaa... aaa... apa keluhannya?
ibu: APAAAAAAAA? (due to hearing loss)
me: keluhan ibu.
ibu: oh ...................... ......................... ..............
me: (thinking what is the correct examination)... ...
we didnt know what to do, we didnt know what to find, we didnt know what we actually didnt know and needed to know.
and then some of them asked whether we would prescribe drugs for them. -_-
and ... i just feel like i am useless afterall, and pity those old folks for wasting a good saturday morning with us.
we knew nothing, we told crap, we did bullshits, and they either believed us or didnt trust us. the former they would be happier but they just believed some stupid tales told by us. while the latter they would feel upset and disappointed and lead to depression or whatever.
maybe they had been told they were going to meet some new freshly baked noob doctors before this, so they thought we all are doctors and seriously i was like @.@"
although we have learnt a lot of physical examinations, we learnt a lot of diseases, but when it comes to real situation, this is what it was...
me: aaa... aaa... apa keluhannya?
ibu: APAAAAAAAA? (due to hearing loss)
me: keluhan ibu.
ibu: oh ...................... ......................... ..............
me: (thinking what is the correct examination)... ...
we didnt know what to do, we didnt know what to find, we didnt know what we actually didnt know and needed to know.
and then some of them asked whether we would prescribe drugs for them. -_-
and ... i just feel like i am useless afterall, and pity those old folks for wasting a good saturday morning with us.
we knew nothing, we told crap, we did bullshits, and they either believed us or didnt trust us. the former they would be happier but they just believed some stupid tales told by us. while the latter they would feel upset and disappointed and lead to depression or whatever.
Friday, June 25, 2010
laziness own
ok, i have been whining a lot of shits.
actually deep in my heart i know, the main cause of all failures is laziness.
but what causes this laziness is lack of endurance.
i try to study 30 minutes, but at 20 minute point i will start having headache, dizziness or increase in melatonin level.
after so freaking long studying medicine, i still think that my best results come from post tests of labs using microscope.
they are histology and anatomical pathology.
they seldom fail me but surprise me. HAHAHAHA!!!!
but what use if i still fail in block exam?
holland is through to the next stage now, facing slovakia??
and from all the games, i dont think they play the best.
but usually the team that plays the best will not win.
so i still think they got the biggest chance to win.
especially with robben playing, that is OMGWTF.
oh, i just changed my warcraft theme a few days back.
got a fresh look now everytime i open warcraft, and when the game ends.
i have been trying to chase back the 4 seconds, but it is fucking hard.
what i talk about is, pro players usually have their hero at 1.05 mark, while i have mine 1.09.
my fingers are too dumb.
or maybe because im using a dumb mouse? :D
back to cruel life... i still have a lot moar to study, to remember, to memorise.
understanding alone is not enough, we need to eat words by words.
and also eat other resource.
fucking retarded system.
to complete so many things in 7 weeks.
what we have to study in this block including geriatrics book (i dont know what book is the recommended one but i know we need to study this), internal medicine, anatomical pathology, some clinical anatomy etc.
how to settle in 7 weeks?
siao one.
(actually is im too lazy lah... -___-)
actually deep in my heart i know, the main cause of all failures is laziness.
but what causes this laziness is lack of endurance.
i try to study 30 minutes, but at 20 minute point i will start having headache, dizziness or increase in melatonin level.
after so freaking long studying medicine, i still think that my best results come from post tests of labs using microscope.
they are histology and anatomical pathology.
they seldom fail me but surprise me. HAHAHAHA!!!!
but what use if i still fail in block exam?
holland is through to the next stage now, facing slovakia??
and from all the games, i dont think they play the best.
but usually the team that plays the best will not win.
so i still think they got the biggest chance to win.
especially with robben playing, that is OMGWTF.
oh, i just changed my warcraft theme a few days back.
got a fresh look now everytime i open warcraft, and when the game ends.
i have been trying to chase back the 4 seconds, but it is fucking hard.
what i talk about is, pro players usually have their hero at 1.05 mark, while i have mine 1.09.
my fingers are too dumb.
or maybe because im using a dumb mouse? :D
back to cruel life... i still have a lot moar to study, to remember, to memorise.
understanding alone is not enough, we need to eat words by words.
and also eat other resource.
fucking retarded system.
to complete so many things in 7 weeks.
what we have to study in this block including geriatrics book (i dont know what book is the recommended one but i know we need to study this), internal medicine, anatomical pathology, some clinical anatomy etc.
how to settle in 7 weeks?
siao one.
(actually is im too lazy lah... -___-)
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
第二年 终
小时候，总盼望自己快一些长大。就如未进大学时的我，是多么希望自己能够快一点考进大学。从别人口中、笔中所知，大学生涯才是生活的开始。是一个要享受什么都能够的时候。
可是，第二年将完，我始终觉得大学生活不如从前快乐。虽然有些事情是比以前逍遥，可是我还是比较喜欢以前的生活。
大学出入自由，可谓毫无约束，只要出席率在某巴仙以上。
大学不需要天天补习，忙得在车上睡觉。
大学的学长权大，慢慢地学弟学妹会变成奴隶。
其好处还有一些，暂时想不到。可是为什么我还是觉得以前比较好？
大学生活，只有没生活，不然就等着考试不及格。
生活圈内养眼的实在太少。以前几乎每一天都可以养眼，现在几乎只有盼望回马来西亚。
君子难见伪君子到处皆是，口说没有实则死赴的很多。
成绩已成了生活中占太大的责任，不像以前还有很多事情要管，使以前的生活更精彩。
知足者少见，贪婪者得寸进尺的却占一半以上。
我从来都没有尝试过人所说的，大学美女如云，生活轻松，空闲时间大把。没有。生活轻松，即怠慢。更惨的是，每天要面对不知多少的伪笑而非微笑。我在你面前微笑恭喜你考到好成绩，心里诅咒道你妈的成绩比我好。性情豪放者则不见。而似我这类放水者更是唯我独尊。考试前谁能够心跳正常地在玩游戏？谁能够在别人面前说自己只读两小时书而事实就是如此？所以，知心者难找。
可是，第二年将完，我始终觉得大学生活不如从前快乐。虽然有些事情是比以前逍遥，可是我还是比较喜欢以前的生活。
大学出入自由，可谓毫无约束，只要出席率在某巴仙以上。
大学不需要天天补习，忙得在车上睡觉。
大学的学长权大，慢慢地学弟学妹会变成奴隶。
其好处还有一些，暂时想不到。可是为什么我还是觉得以前比较好？
大学生活，只有没生活，不然就等着考试不及格。
生活圈内养眼的实在太少。以前几乎每一天都可以养眼，现在几乎只有盼望回马来西亚。
君子难见伪君子到处皆是，口说没有实则死赴的很多。
成绩已成了生活中占太大的责任，不像以前还有很多事情要管，使以前的生活更精彩。
知足者少见，贪婪者得寸进尺的却占一半以上。
我从来都没有尝试过人所说的，大学美女如云，生活轻松，空闲时间大把。没有。生活轻松，即怠慢。更惨的是，每天要面对不知多少的伪笑而非微笑。我在你面前微笑恭喜你考到好成绩，心里诅咒道你妈的成绩比我好。性情豪放者则不见。而似我这类放水者更是唯我独尊。考试前谁能够心跳正常地在玩游戏？谁能够在别人面前说自己只读两小时书而事实就是如此？所以，知心者难找。
Sunday, June 20, 2010
谈 近日
最近看足球多了，睡觉变得不规定。再加上星期四那个该死的阿哪多米考试有读到头脑，结果我睡了今天的前六个小时白天和后三个小时白天。
已经好久没有和世界沟通。今天终于又写部客。我这个星期做了一些小事。星期一我们去老人院，我和一个九十岁老阿嬷谈天。这不是我自愿的，是我被迫的。本来还以为自己没本事。可是坐在她面前后，硬着头皮先问了名字。结果，糟糕，她竟然跟我讲爪哇话。当时我傻眼了，可是我不可能就这样走掉。所以只好傻笑。她记忆已衰退，连续问了我名字多遍，听力亦已不好，脚已不能走路。
另我感到有点不知所措的，是当她说我很bagus。其实每一次听到别人说我bagus都会觉得不知该说什么，因为我也不知道自己是不是有资格被称bagus。在不同人的眼里，我的地位也不同。有些人认为我bagus，有些人认为我很cb，一大堆不同的看法。可是我还是我，就像最近看戏学到的话。昨天的人看错了我，今天的人看错了我，可是我还是我。不管他们是不是明白我的想法。
还要讲的是，我平时说话少，可是说到做到。这是我所谓的do your talking, not talk your doing。总之有些人就只会说，不会做，还要拼命地说。还不如我久久一次开口，然后就做。我说过要你走路，我就不会等，直接开引擎走了。:P
这还不是吗？从以前到现在都是大胆去做的人称王。可是为什么在这里的人大多数都是鼠胆之辈？上面的办事我们不满，就应该造反。就如中国历史昏君被反，改朝换代，封自己为王。而且我们经历了那么多次，就应该明白，谈判不会有结果。我说了，要让他们知道我们的厉害，就应该大举逃课。结果呢？还是没有人肯。那么他们就知道，不管他们做什么鸟事，最终我们还是会低头。以后我们说话，他们还会听吗？
所以啊，平时我不出声，不是我赞同，不是我没意见。只是我说了就会尝试去做。再说，我开口就等于浪费大家的时间，何不大家早点回家做自己想做的事情。有一些人，却好像没开口会浑身不舒服。你不出声不代表你是哑巴！说这么多话，有用吗？最重要的是行动不是声音。声音只是暂时有用而已。就像开战时擂鼓，只能振作士气，打赢战还需杀死敌方。
明天父亲节咯。今年的父亲节爸爸有个礼物，就是弟弟得到奖学金。可是今年的母亲节妈妈得到的却是伤心。就如我当年。再过不久家里就只剩下父母和最小的弟弟，连狗也走了。真是会很冷清。可是再过不到20天，我就回家了。再可是，这两个星期会十分艰苦。要读很多书，很忧闷。
已经好久没有和世界沟通。今天终于又写部客。我这个星期做了一些小事。星期一我们去老人院，我和一个九十岁老阿嬷谈天。这不是我自愿的，是我被迫的。本来还以为自己没本事。可是坐在她面前后，硬着头皮先问了名字。结果，糟糕，她竟然跟我讲爪哇话。当时我傻眼了，可是我不可能就这样走掉。所以只好傻笑。她记忆已衰退，连续问了我名字多遍，听力亦已不好，脚已不能走路。
另我感到有点不知所措的，是当她说我很bagus。其实每一次听到别人说我bagus都会觉得不知该说什么，因为我也不知道自己是不是有资格被称bagus。在不同人的眼里，我的地位也不同。有些人认为我bagus，有些人认为我很cb，一大堆不同的看法。可是我还是我，就像最近看戏学到的话。昨天的人看错了我，今天的人看错了我，可是我还是我。不管他们是不是明白我的想法。
还要讲的是，我平时说话少，可是说到做到。这是我所谓的do your talking, not talk your doing。总之有些人就只会说，不会做，还要拼命地说。还不如我久久一次开口，然后就做。我说过要你走路，我就不会等，直接开引擎走了。:P
这还不是吗？从以前到现在都是大胆去做的人称王。可是为什么在这里的人大多数都是鼠胆之辈？上面的办事我们不满，就应该造反。就如中国历史昏君被反，改朝换代，封自己为王。而且我们经历了那么多次，就应该明白，谈判不会有结果。我说了，要让他们知道我们的厉害，就应该大举逃课。结果呢？还是没有人肯。那么他们就知道，不管他们做什么鸟事，最终我们还是会低头。以后我们说话，他们还会听吗？
所以啊，平时我不出声，不是我赞同，不是我没意见。只是我说了就会尝试去做。再说，我开口就等于浪费大家的时间，何不大家早点回家做自己想做的事情。有一些人，却好像没开口会浑身不舒服。你不出声不代表你是哑巴！说这么多话，有用吗？最重要的是行动不是声音。声音只是暂时有用而已。就像开战时擂鼓，只能振作士气，打赢战还需杀死敌方。
明天父亲节咯。今年的父亲节爸爸有个礼物，就是弟弟得到奖学金。可是今年的母亲节妈妈得到的却是伤心。就如我当年。再过不久家里就只剩下父母和最小的弟弟，连狗也走了。真是会很冷清。可是再过不到20天，我就回家了。再可是，这两个星期会十分艰苦。要读很多书，很忧闷。
Friday, June 4, 2010
sick
have been sick since monday.
i felt my body was attacked during the lecture, that was some weird feeling but very true.
and the night i got shit headache and fever and feeling of vomitting and anorexia.
my first thought was.. this is not a normal sick already.
as days passed, the fever got decreased and headache got lightened. but there was an addition of dizziness.
yesterday finally i went to hospital to consult a doctor, and did a blood test.
but still, dont know what is this shit.
i have been skipping almost all the classes since monday.
i felt my body was attacked during the lecture, that was some weird feeling but very true.
and the night i got shit headache and fever and feeling of vomitting and anorexia.
my first thought was.. this is not a normal sick already.
as days passed, the fever got decreased and headache got lightened. but there was an addition of dizziness.
yesterday finally i went to hospital to consult a doctor, and did a blood test.
but still, dont know what is this shit.
i have been skipping almost all the classes since monday.
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