KoAs

什么是koas呢？Koas在印尼是ko-asisten的简称。Koas就像是马来西亚的houseman，是还不是医生的医生。每一个在印尼读医科的人，如果想做医生，就一定要去koas，做好koas就正式是医生了。而我们马来西亚的呢，读完了医科，还要做两年的houseman，才能算是正式的医生。

由于我的OSCE Compre全部及格，所以我就很幸运地能够进koas的第一wave。经过了三天的pembekalan，前天终于分好koas的组和station。Koas的组竟然是两年不会有变化的。就是说这些人将陪伴我这koas的两年。我们的第一个station是jiwa，就是精神病的咯。这个station总共4个星期。Koas中有分大和小的station，大的station是10个星期，小的就4个星期。Jiwa算是小的station。再过几天，我就会去医院做工了咯。4月16号，我开始我的koas。

在第一个星期，我们就必须jaga了。Jaga有分jaga siang和jaga malam。Jaga siang是从下午两点顾到晚上九点，jaga malam是从晚上九点顾到早上七点。然后每一天去上课（做工）的时间是七点到四点。所以，如果不小心被选中jaga，就是……爽咯。

我的组总共有13人。我，jaikumar和shamini是international的，其余的都是regular的。Regular的同伴……我无话可说。至少在这三天pembekalan里，其中有三人是令我不爽的。但是，谁能知道日后相处得如何？我只希望，他们不要太令我不爽，不要太令我失望就好。毕竟，接下来的两年，昼夜相处的人就是他们了。

很不幸的，由于Sardjito（即我们最主要的医院）pembekalan的礼堂有灰尘，所以……我的旧病又发作。早上刚看完医生回来。希望在16号的时候已经能够正常地去医院了。

说说Jiwa吧。Jiwa是疯人去的地方。当然，不只是疯人。忧郁的、hyper的，都应该来的。在Jiwa的病房，有特别一点的地方，是像监牢的，是为了关疯人的。所以，是蛮刺激的地方。刺激不在看到血、断手断脚，而是我们要和病人一起疯、听疯人讲疯话、听忧郁的人诉苦……

作为koas的第一站，我相信jiwa将会有很大的影响。就像初恋那样难忘。怎么说呢……现在生病着，不能想太美的句子。但是，人生中的第一次，真的就会有很大的影响。所以说不定，以后我就成了psychiatrist。

第一次去峇厘岛（三）

是时候一个人狂欢的时候了——孤单
我一个人吃饭旅行到处走走停停

总之，句句直说中我心声。

我第一个去的地方，就是和慧说的“另一边直接是海边的mall”，叫做Discovery Mall。其实这Mall本身也没有什么特别，特别的就只是它面向海。

Discovery Mall外的海滩Discovery Mall看出去。

Discovery Mall面向海的一面。

然后我又走回来。经过McD时就坐下来吃。走在街上，听着不同的店播着不同的歌曲……慢慢地漫漫地走。有点毫无目的，又有点朝着目的。

我又去了Kuta Beach。唯一在Kuta Beach留下的遗憾，是没有机会在这个海滩看夕阳，因为它也是一个看夕阳的地方。喝醉酒的那一夜，我看了黑夜的Kuta Beach，现在我就看阳光下的Kuta Beach。很多人在冲浪，很多人在做日光浴。我刚踏入沙滩，就看到一个topless的红毛妞晒太阳。可是是趴着晒啦。

点大图可以看见晒太阳的红毛人和冲浪的阳光男。

虽然这个Kuta Beach和Discovery Mall外面的海边距离不到1km（如果我的距离感没有错），可是这里人很多，那边却没有人。以至于刚才Tharan打电话来的时候，我说海滩上没有人。可能他们会以为我竟然躲在房间，骗他们说我去了海滩……事实上，我那个时候看的海滩真的是没有人。

走着走着，我又回到了我喝醉的地方。

我不知道这个pub叫什么名字，但是里面的酒很好喝，也蛮便宜……

然后走着走着，看到Hard Rock Cafe，就进去买一件衣做collection，顺便还加入了member。总共又花了一大笔钱……话说，我玩了那个店员一下。我看似印尼人（因为晒黑了），她走过来准备跟我讲印尼话时，我却讲英文，弄到她有一点紧张了。这个时候她应该是以为我是日本人了吧。然后我做member要签名一下，还要写名字，LEE YOON SENG，摆明一个韩国人的名字。我觉得她傻眼了吧，这样黑的韩国人。

在Bali玩，虽然每个人都说，要装到自己像本地人，才不会被杀价。我偏偏喜欢用英文。这样才爽嘛。

接着我就走去Legian，一条充满club的路，也是2002年Bali被恐怖分子炸的地方。我一直没有机会走这里，唯一的机会也是我醉的时候，所以现在我有机会了。这就是为什么我会认为我没有跟他们去看海豚也不会有问题的。因为我真的还有很多地方要走。

这就是Legian。

他们讲最好的club。

爆炸的纪念碑。

接着我又去了Legian直走的对面路，Bunusari，一整条街都在卖mushroom的。

Ticket to the Moon!

然后我就去按摩……全身按摩。然后就准备回家了喽。

回酒店的路，Jalan Pantai Kuta

Kuta Square

路边很多祭坛，Pura。

一个沿海的飞机场，很幸运地我在飞机场里认到了方向。我走去西边，找了一个窗，拍了一张有夕阳，有海，还有飞机的照片……

第一次去峇厘岛（二）

2月28号

虽然是醉酒，但是我还是蛮早醒的。

今天的行程是Factory Outlet。我们总共去了Bypass的Ripcurl，Quiksilver和Billabong的FO。我竟然烧钱，花了大约800千买衣服。这让我的Bali之旅突然就变成了一条很贵的旅游。

后来就坐车到Gianyar县的路边吃猪……

然后集体去买I love Bali的简单白色T shirt。

接着就去看Bali的其中一个传统舞蹈Kecak。这个传统舞蹈，简直就是笑话。对不起，因为我都不明白他们表演的是什么，不懂意思，所以就只把它当成笑话来看。Kecak是一个由一群人在那里吱咋作乱的表演。但是，真的很好笑。

后来健成从Jogja回来了，就和我们一起去吃鸭。这个鸭简直就是金养的。很贵。所以我也没有必要把它记载在这里。不过……好像是写下来比较好，以后才不会再去那边。它就是Dirty Duck Diner，Bali名字叫什么我忘了。很贵。很贵。

接着他们就急着去做按摩，我倒是轻松无事。也就在这时，我告诉了chew我明天的打算。我明天不和他们去看海豚了。

做这个决定的理由，第一，是我不喜欢急匆匆地从那么远的地方赶着去机场。第二，我自己一个人也可以在Kuta走，反正我还没有真正地走完Kuta。他们一再地劝我跟去，但是我就是执著。

可能到最后会有人误会我不要去的理由。

凌晨两点他们出发后，我就睡觉。

2月29号

闹钟9点响。准备好后，就上网看一下Uluwatu，一个我miss掉的地方。可是去Uluwatu就应该要看夕阳。所以我决定了，今天我也不去Uluwatu了，直接full time在Kuta周围用脚旅行。

听了几遍已故阿桑的叶子，我就背书包出发了。

葉子 是不會飛翔的翅膀
翅膀 是落在天上的葉子
天堂 原來應該不是妄想
只是我早已經遺忘
當初怎麼開始飛翔

孤單 是一個人的狂歡
狂歡 是一群人的孤單
愛情 原來的開始是陪伴
但我也漸漸地遺忘
當時是怎樣有人陪伴
我一個人吃飯 旅行 到處走走停停
也一個人看書 寫信 自己對話談心
只是心又飄到了哪裡
就連自己看也看不清
我想我不僅僅是失去你

我一個人吃飯 旅行 到處走走停停
也一個人看書 寫信 自己對話談心
只是心又飄到了哪裡
就連自己看也看不清
我想我不僅僅是失去你

孤單 是一個人的狂歡
狂歡 是一群人的孤單
愛情 原來的開始是陪伴
但我也漸漸地遺忘
當時是怎樣有人陪伴

我一個人吃飯 旅行 到處走走停停
也一個人看書 寫信 自己對話談心
只是心又飄到了哪裡
就連自己看也看不清
我想我不僅僅是失去你

我一個人吃飯 旅行 到處走走停停
也一個人看書 寫信 自己對話談心
只是心又飄到了哪裡
就連自己看也看不清
我想我不僅僅是失去你

葉子 是不會飛翔的翅膀
翅膀 是落在天上的葉子

第一次去峇厘岛（一）

刚从Bali回来马来西亚，总结：还得去至少一次。

2月25号

半夜才回到Hotel。住的是一间老马的酒店——Hidden Oasis，在Bali最热闹的Kuta。这一天没做什么。看完球赛就睡觉了。

2月26号

早上四点醒来冲凉。因为我们7个人一间厕所，需要一段时间。等到所有人都准备好后，就坐Van去Padang Bai，坐船去Gili Island。Gili其实有三座岛，没有错的话我们坐船是坐到Gili Trawangan。我也不知道啦，反正就叫它Gili罢了。

这样的三个gili岛。

去到Gili的时候也已经是中午了。我们找了一间酒店——Gili Gecko，租三间房，Leon和Teng和Lian Jae一间，三个女的一间，我和Tharan和Chew和健成一间。放了东西后，我们就去Snorkeling。在Gili的三座岛的海域看珊瑚。

和慧是不会游泳的。在第一次下水的时候她就一个人离开其他人蛮远，去深的地方。我就喊道：“不要去这样深的位。”她喊回：“可以不要管我吗？”辛苦啊，好心没好报。这是海，是可以玩出命的地方。离开人群太远，万一有什么不好就惨了。就算是哪一个人离开了人群，我也会这样喊的。可能她不明白。所以就算了。

第一次下海的地方，就很普通。只是见识见识吧。也是生意的一个手段啦，你要带人去三个地方，当然要越带越好的。在这里有珊瑚，有鱼……

然后就上船去另一个Gili岛的海。在这里有海龟。能看到海龟在珊瑚间游来游去。几个够力的还追海龟追到不知道哪里去。

第三个Gili岛的海，是看珊瑚的地方。看珊瑚？前面两个都看到珊瑚了，为什么这个要安排在整个旅程的最后一个？因为，这里的珊瑚真的是最美的。第一个的是有珊瑚，比起很多地方的海算起来是很美了。第二个地方海龟抢掉所有镜头。这个地方的珊瑚，满满的，各种各样的，而且很靠近。大约就只是在2meter以内的深度。我本来还想要脱掉救生衣，潜下去了的。因为真的很浅而已，即使已经离开海岸有50meter吧。而且，有很多鱼，很多鱼。

回到我们住的岛，就先去吃，一间叫Juku的店吃。四点了，才吃午餐。这间店的食物不会太贵，很出乎意料。

回去冲凉好，就开始租脚车来踏。

Gili岛是一个很受保护的岛。岛上的交通工具，除了人脚，就是脚车，或者马车。我们十个人，租了十辆脚车，一些人竟然很少踏脚车，脚车是怎样function的也不太懂。

十个人，十辆脚车，沿海一直踏。那时已经六点吧？总之是接近日落的时候。码头是岛的东岸，我们要踏到另一边，大约半小时。我们就这样潇洒地踏。途上有很多红毛跑步，也有脚车和马车在狭窄的路上跟我们挤。由于那几个和脚车不熟的兄弟，踏得很慢，我和Tharan和Leon还有Evelyn一直都踏得太快。

终于看见夕阳了。呃，其实……很美一下……红色的天竟然倒映在……海面上。我有一点no idea为什么会这样。如果是湖，我还明白。可是这是海咧。

好了，照片补上了！

看到水面的倒影吗？这是海啊。

由于到了这个时候，我的拍照的ohm还没有来，所以我只是拍很少照片。要看照片还必须等我偷来才能post在这里。

天黑了，这里没有柏油路，没有路灯，就只靠路边的店的灯来照明。结果路上的洞我很难看到，因为我还是稍有夜盲。结果，屁股撞到很痛。我们在一间BBQ鱼的店吃，cocktail还买一送一，但条件是买A送A，买B送B。所以我和teng share。由于四点才吃……午餐，我并不是很饿。吃一点，喝完蛮难喝的忘了什么名的cocktail，就够了。这间店是在海边的，吃饱后我们就去沙滩。他们8个人躺在沙滩树下的床上，继续喝cocktail和讲话。我和chew就走在沙滩上，抬头一看，Oh my God，天上有很多星星啊！因为这里很干净，没有很多灯，而且是在海边，所以，真的很imba，这片星空。“喂，看星星要躺着看的。”我说。可是我也三思片刻，才敢敢躺在沙滩上看星星。哇劳，这个……真的是很不同。这个星空，比之前我写过在buddhist camp的更够力。因为在这里，很明显地可以看到几个不同的星座。是几个，不是一个！我至少有看到（我认为是）北斗七星，和南方十字架。然后Chew也跟着躺了。而且还躺得比我过瘾。过后健成也来了，也躺下了。我们都形容我们为emo。然后我说：“现在能令我伤心的，只有三个理由。第一是osce，第二是如果突然有意外发生在我家人或朋友身上。第三的，你知我知。这一刻，就是第三个理由。”这是我第一次面对面跟这两个人提起我的心中话的一部分。

后来，其他人也一个一个来，我就一个一个psycho到全部躺下来。晚上八点多，在繁星下，有十个傻瓜，躺在沙滩上……

“我看到星星能走咧！”Lian Jae先喊道。

“我也是！”其他人说。

我却没有看到。够力。竟然miss掉流星！

“又有了！”过了大约五分钟，我又miss了一颗。

虽然没有看到流星，但是我还是大声地许愿了：“希望以后还会有这样的旅行！”

后来就没有人喊看到了。然后就回去，做了一些鸟事，一个一个就陆续睡觉了。而我，却努力地逼着自己清醒，虽然有几下不小心睡觉了，但是我还是很清醒地等到Chew醒来，我才放心地去睡觉。结果，就不能醒来看日出了。

2月27号

话说我很迟才睡，6点吧。睡到8点，就醒来，冲凉，然后和Tharan和Lian Jae出去走走一下。船是11点回Bali的。他们所有人又去Juku吃，我却吃不下。

回到Bali的酒店，那些有Professional Behaviour的就先做功课。我和Chew和Lian Jae和健成和和慧和Yan Yi（此字难找，直接写英文）就去附近gai gai。这时已经5点了，我一整天只吃船上的那粒面包，却还没有饿。我变态了。我们去KFC吃twisty，然后健成就要去机场了。之后我们5个人去做foot massage。

做到来，就已经天黑了。我们回去酒店会合那些坏孩子。可是Leon和Evelyn一起出去了，所以我们五个加Tharan和Teng就出去，走。和吃。

可是已经很晚了，和慧讲的那间“另一边是海边”的mall已经关了。所以我们又走到另一边，走在沙滩上……然后突然就听到音乐，就进去……black canyon coffee地底的pub，叫了一座Heinekken tower。这里的酒，竟然比外面的便利店还便宜。一座塔我们一人只分得两杯，不够解渴啊。Tharan就开始去喝各种玩意儿了。然后我也跟着去。

我知道，就是今晚了。

我们叫他们不相干的先回去。只留下Lian Jae，同时也叫Leon来。那个时候，我喝了……3或4 shot，开始走不直，但是还清醒。Tharan却已经开始讲emo话了。后来我有喝多几杯不同花样的酒。我做人就是很简单，不需要用太深的字和词，不需要懂太多酒的名字，就只是跟bartender说：“gak ada api, yang paling best。”他OK一下，就开始配酒。红色，蓝色，黑色……什么色什么味道都有。都很好喝，这个是重点。更是重点的重点，是我的头脑还清醒，可以享受。虽然……喝完了之后已经要Lian Jae扶着走。

后来我们四人去Legian。去其中一间club。上着楼梯的时候，我已经忍不住了，在楼梯呕了两泡。后来又去厕所马桶处呕一泡。然后就出来倒在桌子上睡死了。直到Lian Jae来叫我醒，我又去呕多一次，呕到那个胃酸从鼻孔出来……然后才让他扶我回去。一回去酒店，就直接睡了。可是睡到一半，我被呕声吵醒。哇劳，Tharan睡在我旁边，呕在地上了。

梦想

我问我自己，我有什么梦想？

其实我现在这个时候所拥有的梦想，是……

第一：拥有自己的书，自己写的小说。我觉得能够握住自己写的小说，那是最幸福的事情。我不需要很出名，我不需要赚很多钱，我的梦想就只是拥有自己的书。

第二：能够享受生活。这个梦想相信谁都有。

第三：能够顺利地过完大学生活。大学生活真是让我太失望了，我也不知道怎样形容，总之就是大学生活，不是我所期望的生活。

如果我的梦想都成为现实，我会写一系列的小说，由《我的高中生活》为前传，接下来的故事将会是奇幻型故事。可是如我所说的，大学生活太失望了，所以要接下去好像有一点困难。

I was Called a Doctor!?...

this happened not due to coincidence. today we had our saturday clinic, in which we had to "treat" patients. these patients are REAL geriatric patients, with their own complaints, with their hopes on us.
maybe they had been told they were going to meet some new freshly baked noob doctors before this, so they thought we all are doctors and seriously i was like @.@"
although we have learnt a lot of physical examinations, we learnt a lot of diseases, but when it comes to real situation, this is what it was...

me: aaa... aaa... apa keluhannya?
ibu: APAAAAAAAA? (due to hearing loss)
me: keluhan ibu.
ibu: oh ...................... ......................... ..............
me: (thinking what is the correct examination)... ...

we didnt know what to do, we didnt know what to find, we didnt know what we actually didnt know and needed to know.
and then some of them asked whether we would prescribe drugs for them. -_-
and ... i just feel like i am useless afterall, and pity those old folks for wasting a good saturday morning with us.
we knew nothing, we told crap, we did bullshits, and they either believed us or didnt trust us. the former they would be happier but they just believed some stupid tales told by us. while the latter they would feel upset and disappointed and lead to depression or whatever.

laziness own

ok, i have been whining a lot of shits.
actually deep in my heart i know, the main cause of all failures is laziness.
but what causes this laziness is lack of endurance.
i try to study 30 minutes, but at 20 minute point i will start having headache, dizziness or increase in melatonin level.

after so freaking long studying medicine, i still think that my best results come from post tests of labs using microscope.
they are histology and anatomical pathology.
they seldom fail me but surprise me. HAHAHAHA!!!!
but what use if i still fail in block exam?

holland is through to the next stage now, facing slovakia??
and from all the games, i dont think they play the best.
but usually the team that plays the best will not win.
so i still think they got the biggest chance to win.
especially with robben playing, that is OMGWTF.

oh, i just changed my warcraft theme a few days back.
got a fresh look now everytime i open warcraft, and when the game ends.
i have been trying to chase back the 4 seconds, but it is fucking hard.
what i talk about is, pro players usually have their hero at 1.05 mark, while i have mine 1.09.
my fingers are too dumb.
or maybe because im using a dumb mouse? :D

back to cruel life... i still have a lot moar to study, to remember, to memorise.
understanding alone is not enough, we need to eat words by words.
and also eat other resource.
fucking retarded system.
to complete so many things in 7 weeks.
what we have to study in this block including geriatrics book (i dont know what book is the recommended one but i know we need to study this), internal medicine, anatomical pathology, some clinical anatomy etc.
how to settle in 7 weeks?
siao one.
(actually is im too lazy lah... -___-)

第二年 终

小时候，总盼望自己快一些长大。就如未进大学时的我，是多么希望自己能够快一点考进大学。从别人口中、笔中所知，大学生涯才是生活的开始。是一个要享受什么都能够的时候。

可是，第二年将完，我始终觉得大学生活不如从前快乐。虽然有些事情是比以前逍遥，可是我还是比较喜欢以前的生活。
大学出入自由，可谓毫无约束，只要出席率在某巴仙以上。
大学不需要天天补习，忙得在车上睡觉。
大学的学长权大，慢慢地学弟学妹会变成奴隶。
其好处还有一些，暂时想不到。可是为什么我还是觉得以前比较好？
大学生活，只有没生活，不然就等着考试不及格。
生活圈内养眼的实在太少。以前几乎每一天都可以养眼，现在几乎只有盼望回马来西亚。
君子难见伪君子到处皆是，口说没有实则死赴的很多。
成绩已成了生活中占太大的责任，不像以前还有很多事情要管，使以前的生活更精彩。
知足者少见，贪婪者得寸进尺的却占一半以上。

我从来都没有尝试过人所说的，大学美女如云，生活轻松，空闲时间大把。没有。生活轻松，即怠慢。更惨的是，每天要面对不知多少的伪笑而非微笑。我在你面前微笑恭喜你考到好成绩，心里诅咒道你妈的成绩比我好。性情豪放者则不见。而似我这类放水者更是唯我独尊。考试前谁能够心跳正常地在玩游戏？谁能够在别人面前说自己只读两小时书而事实就是如此？所以，知心者难找。

读懒

生活很寂寞。睡觉醒来就面对着电脑，关了电脑就是睡觉。这就是所谓的“睡醒打开眼睛第一个看到的就是你，睡前最后一个看到的也是你”。好浪漫……

现在又是考试来临之时。要努力读书，可是力不从心，只好读一下玩一下。
当初考SPM时我并不需要这样“读一下玩一下”，因为我那时候感情有所寄托。不管多累，只要能够线上聊几句，精神又回来了。
现在……悲哀啊。
就如我告诉我朋友的，线上一女友，生活一女友。线上的是给我们精神上的鼓励，而生活的才是真的女友。可是难道生活的女友不能够给精神上的鼓励？生活的女友，会吵架，会不开心而闹分手。往往带来的不是鼓励而是挫折。线上的，不会有这些问题。因为它是假的。假的，都是好的。

祝我读书愉快吧。

results for 2.4

Result was released yesterday and one thing that I am so fucking stress is the truth that only 3 people got A. Although A is not my business, but 3 people out of nearly 90 people make it like some fuck of a thing to happen.

I give an example. In a company there are 100 workers. 50 of them are lepak kakis, come to work late and go back early, or even ponteng kerja. 25 of them come to work and go back home on time, never curi tulang, but the performance is not that good. 20 of them work well and we cannot ask for more already. 5 of them always do OT without extra payment and they are fucking efficient. So when this company wants to give them grade, the 50 would be C or D or E class workers because they are too lousy, but depend on their working efficiency also lah. The 25 should be the B class workers, because they are almost perfect except their works are not really perfect. The 20 are grade A workers. They already can be role models for others. And the 5 would be S class worker - super class. Because they do so much and so good and ... lazy to write.

Anyone disagree with this example?

So, our grading should never be like this! The 5 being A, 20 being B, 25 being C and 50 D and E! What the hell? The exam questions always ask too many extra things from lecture notes, thus we are so fucking hard to get high mark, unless we are studying like very hardworking. Imagine, for 1 week we need to, not only read all about Cancers, but also to REMEMBER all the info! Then the next week we need to read and remember autoimmune and hormonal disorders, and many many more, and then we cannot afford to forget what we read last week, last last week ...

And with this they are playing our CGPA.

Although this time I am satisfied with my result, seeing only 3 people got A is still... GRRRRR... And oh yeah, because 2.4 I stopped DotA, that is why I can get correct X question, during the exam I calculated the maximum question I can correct is X. Meaning all the question I think I can answer correctly were all correct! :D

dota competition

I have been busy these few days, for there was PKPMI DotA competition. Being in one of the teams to watch and the drafter of the team, I feel that if there is anything wrong I am the one to blame. Maybe it is just what I feel and not by others, but I still quite tension with it.
Marlboro has been the top gun but I know there is chance to win this competition. I don't care what Marlboro team members talk about us. From what I heard, they are not scared of our team. But from what they have been doing, I am sure that in their mind we are the only team they need to worry of. Because, they have been saving our replays almost everytime after playing with us. This shows that they have been finding solution to break our team play. So, are they really not afraid of our team?
We lost 4 games in total in the competition, while in league we lost to Marlboro and in semi we lost 1 to AFB and another 2 in final, to Marlboro. I do not blame anyone for getting silver, it was me who did not pick heroes properly due to lack of confidence in using SF and Lanaya. If I were given a chance to play again, I would still do the same thing.

I am here writing about this, to tell people that I am not so desperate for the win, unlike some people out there.
1st, I was the one who create the rules and if I really want to win this, I could have set the mode as -cd and not -cm. We are the team who first used most heroes and in -cd we would have a lot more advantages.
2nd, my lap top has no Warcraft III programme so I cannot watch any replay or practise at home. And I only touch back DotA 3 weeks before the competition.
3rd, all the finalists have Razer equipments except 2 from our team and 2 from Marlboro, and 2 of these people are sub for the teams respectively. So, can I who spend 0 win those who spent more than RM300? If can, Razer can quit already right?
4th, as I said before, Marlboro watched our replays while we didn't. But this is not against the rule so I am not blaming them. It just shows that they want to beat us so much that they spent some time on us.
5th, I did not use dota key during the whole competition. Even juniors use it. People who don't have Razer mouse and do not use dota key and reach final, that is me.

So if I win the competition, it is against the norm from the 5 reasons above. A person who do not see DotA as life and spend so much money and time on it, playing on par with those people, losing can be forgiven.
But there is one game that I am disappointed. The 2nd game of semi was so fail that I am still feeling sad.
Since it is over and the next DotA competition is far away, I am here to give some comments.
1st, playing with 2 carry heroes cannot win a team with same or higher skill level.
2nd, Akasha as warder, NA + Silencer, Vengeful and CM picks are my own ideas. I do not get them from any replays so I would like to copyright them. >D
3rd, I didn't use planned strategy, Obsidian + BB.
4th, I am the player who buy most wards from the competition.
5th, if I have to choose 1 MVP of the competition, it would be AARON.
6th, I am quiting again, until the next competition or playing for birthday boys.
7th, why are there people who did not think how to counter opponent's strategy, when I already revealed the opponent's heroes?
8th, being poor is one of the reasons people cannot play games at highest level, just like me.
9th, I won't train harder for the next competition,but I expect harder games.
10th, this competition is generally boring.

Read, Memorize, Study

When people are having pre-exam syndrome (check my older post about pre-exam syndrome for more information), the most popular words used would be STUDY.

But how many people really study out there? Not all. There are some people who read, some people who memorize, and some other who study. Based on my experience here in medical school, although I never do a research or survey on this, I think most people are actually MEMORIZING and not studying, and followed by READING and lastly STUDYING.

I would like to start off with the laziest of all - READ.

Reading means glance through, like someone reading newspaper or novel. Whatever read is read, and never read again although it might not be understood yet. Sometimes the person may repeat reading it if he/she finds it interesting.

Memorizing, I can say it is "read until you remember". It is very torturing to memorize so much stuff. There are a lot of ways to actually memorize something. Some people would use some familiar things to relate to the topic and then make it easier to memorize. Some people would just read the lectures 1000000 times until they can tell you every sentence in the lecture notes.

Studying is the best way, and the correct way I personally think, to be a student. People who really study are those who will do their own research when they read something they don't understand, am I right? Those research may be sources from books, internet or by asking a more knowledgeable persons.

So, why do people choose to use STUDY in conversation? Because it is the best among these. It is seldom to see people asking each other "Have you memorized the lectures?" "Have you read the lectures?" , but instead "Have you studied?" will be used.

Last Day before Exam

Finally I am ending my torment temporarily tomorrow, as tomorrow will be my Block Exam.

Seriously these exams are making me losing self confidence. Fuck them. No matter how much I study, all the questions and the answers look like I am seeing them for the first time. I admit I do not study a lot, but it is not the kind of feeling like this: "Shit, I forget this thing la, should have studied more.", but it is like this: "What is this? Why never see this thing one?"

I just hope that everything goes fine tomorrow and I will get whatever best for me. And today I plan to torture my body, keeping myself awake 24 hours before the exam. This means, 5 hours sleep? I think I will cut down to 3.

Well, recently I watched a lot of youtube videos for Warcraft and Starcraft. And also I have decided to help batch 08 to earn this year's DotA champion.

the new sem

life in campus have been good. but to think that now is almost half of 3rd week, i am quite worried for my coming block exam 4 more weeks later. omfg, why cant i santai a while more?

this sem has begun "peacefully". nothing eventful happen in my group yet although many people including me say "this is one topshit group in fk history" when we see the members. but everything is fine, there is cooperation, there is no disagreement YET and all tutorial sessions are finishing fast! this is what i like.

for now, the one who sit beside me the most in tutorials and labs is dai ko. well, he graduated from mmu, considered my brother's senior although different place they studied. he is elder than my brother, and LOL we are in the same batch now. since standard 5 i have been dealing with people elder than me most of the time. secondary school, ktt, and now university, still dealing a lot with elder people.

there are a lot more to come to this group, with a lot of tfss awaiting this sem. at the beginning i was quite scared that time would be slow in this group. but now it is already 3rd week, and i dont feel that it is slow. not like one of my groups last time. HAHAHHA!

5 more months, we will be 3rd year, another batch is coming, another batch is leaving.

raining now.

life goes on in indonesia

first week of block 2.4 almost gone. all the lectures dont look like they are something difficult partly because this block is adolescent and we all are adolescent. and this block focuses mainly on psychological change in adolescent, and psychology lectures are always nice to study, because the facts are not facts there. XD

quiting dota look like a good choice. motor petrol still a lot even though i have been go to and come back from campus for so many times. almost 10 times? maybe. but still full tank.

and a lot of free time now, maybe because before i went back malaysia everyday i had to study for exam, so no time for games. now, it is no time for books! so i am fucking happy with life like this. :)

new tutorial group seems great, finishing 6 lo within 1 hour. although the atmosphere there is not really stable lol. it is like a sleeping volcano, peaceful with not much peace. but,finishing 6 lo in 1 hour still makes me like it. hahahah!!! keep this up and this will be another great group.

i think i shall interview myself about dota in next post.

PreExam Syndrome

Usually days before any big exams, people start having this psychological problem termed Exam Fever. Exam Fever is characterized by decrease in appetite, increase in duration of locking him/herself in room, insomnia, and a more severe condition called psycho may happen.

As for me, I have PreExam Syndrome, not only fever but SYNDROME! A syndrome is a condition where there are combinations of abnormalities act together to cause a problem. So it is basically much more serius than fever.

First of all, I will sleep a lot more compared to normal times. This is due to boredom caused by studying. This may sound stupid, but this is true. These few days I sleep from 2a.m. after finishing missions on game till 8a.m., thanks to all the 7a.m. lectures along this block. Then I wake up, defecate, maybe breakfast, and then play game or study depend on my mood. After that, maybe 10a.m. or 11a.m., I will sleep again until 12p.m. or 1p.m. Then I will have my lunch, and play game after lunch because of my principle: don't study after having meal. Then again I will sleep at 4p.m. to 6p.m. Night time, not everyday but sometimes, I will sleep from 10p.m. to 11p.m.

Second characteristic of this syndrome is a little bit related to the first one. Why do I have boredom only during before exam? Because I simply feel so guilty when I play game, so I will control myself not to play all the time. So, I feel bored and then feel like sleeping.

Another thing is I feel hungry more easily. This may be due to increase brain activity during my study time. HAHAHA! Yea, because I don't feel stress, so I won't feel like not eating anything. Although I sleep a lot when I am having this syndrome, I eat more than normal days. Feel so shitty when I need supper at night but nowhere to eat...

I think the last thing about this syndrome is... I become anti social. Why? I do always lock myself in my room and become a SOLO MID player, but not studying inside all the time. Got study la, but play game still more than studying. So why anti social? Because I don't know who to socialise during such period. Everyone needs to study. It is not good to disturb people. So what do I do? Study, play game, doing nothing, or sleep inside my room.

Last but not least... Good Luck everyone!

A Doctor

There is this doctor, Dr S****, who was supposed to give my group a skills lab session on neonatal resuscitation (feedback).

On that day, the lecturer who gave lecture on 7a.m. came in late, so he finished it late, and when we go to RP building the doctor had gone because we were late and he was fucking pissed off. Okay, fine. Although this is not our fault, I don't want to talk anything because some people simply cannot wait for others.

So this session is postponed.. postponed... postponed.... until yesterday still postponed..... until today, the last day of Block 2.2, Dr S. told us that he is not going to teach us and we need to find another doctor to replace him.

What The Fuck?!

I am so fucking tak syok with him now, but probably next block we will still meet him. When people want to take lecture slides from his lap top, he said he scared got virus enter his lap top, so there is no any lecture slides of his lectures.

Why la? Become Spesialis Anak then mental also becoming like Anak already? Haiz...

Last Day of Nov

Nothing special, but feel like writing something here.
Exam is coming soon, just one more fucking week. So I feel the stress, but lazy want to start engine. You know la, when the engine is cold, it is quite difficult to start.

Okay, let's start with today.

Today we had a small histo exam. Only 6 questions, and the questions had already leaked, so it is so goddamn easy. But human are funny. When the exam is easy, I think why the hell they want to have such exam when it is not challenging at all? But when the exam questions are hard, I would think what the fuck they are thinking, asking such fucking questions... So I am controlling my mind to think this as a normal exam, which I was able to answer.

Enough, proceed to the next thing.

Today is 30th of November, so we had our routine trip to buy Baskin. Haha.. Long awaited day, twice in a month.
But today was so funny. The cup for Pint finished, and the stock will come only on the next 15th. So we had to buy Quat, which is damn fucking big LOL! Later I will eat... :D

Oh ya, we went to Amplaz by taxi, a fucking new Ford Focus. Damn, Ford Focus is used as taxi in Jogja, what a joke! I think this is the first time I am sitting inside a Ford... Isn't it? Not sure. Last time when I went back Malaysia, when I saw some Toyota, Hyundai or Chevrolet, I felt like.. they were taxis... After more Focus I see as taxi, I think I will feel that Ford Focus is just a fucking taxi when I see it in Malaysia in the future. So kesian, a rally super car become a taxi. XD

Haiz... Need to set target already. At least 2 hours of study one day!

星碎夜暗

最近，马来西亚读大学的朋友都有假期回家去了。中五的弟弟和其他学弟学妹则有SPM考试。

先说假期回家。
我都不知道什么时候才能回家了。二月虽然有假期，可是某某原因导致我不太想回家。
第一：成绩都还不知道，如果考试成绩差，需要重考，那么假期只剩下1个星期。
这个还不用紧。因为机票可以订在重考的日期过后，这样就一定能重考和回家。接下来……
第二：我讨厌去机场，匆匆忙忙，忙忙碌碌，赶了一大堆东西，还要担心会不会来得及，或者会不会延迟。在飞机上，空姐很少有美的，所以也就只是睡觉。可是座位很挤，膝盖撞着前面的椅子，好不舒服。
这个也不是太大的问题，既来之则安之嘛。只是在机场那段时间，我真是很讨厌。接下来……
第三：省钱！理由很简单。一次来回，从Jogja到SP，至少要RM500。爸爸妈妈是不会心疼把钱花在机票上，可是我会。呵呵！
这个还不是大问题！接下来！
第四：我讨厌离开的感觉！！！老实说，每一次要离开这里的家，或者要离开马来西亚的家，我都会很失落……觉得很多事情还没有做，或者还不够。这个是我最不想回家的原因。我甘愿在这里过生活，也不要回去，然后感受两次离开的感觉。
再加一个第五：回去了，出去、吃饭，做什么事情都是花爸爸妈妈的钱，所以就有两个坏处。首先，花钱就是不好，尤其是爸爸妈妈的。接下来，由于花爸爸妈妈的钱很不好很不健康，我就很少会讨钱，所以就没钱花，没钱玩……
我其实已经不在考虑的过程了，因为我是决定不要回去的。只是爸爸妈妈要我回去，所以就……再看看吧！

关于SPM考试嘛……我只能说：祝你好运。因为SPM考试，运气和实力的比例是1：1。你有百分百的实力，可是有零运气，你最多也只能考到一半的分数。
SPM的华语，会是我永远的阴影。我真希望我能够挖出我的做答卷，作文的那一张，然后复印我的作文。因为我有信心，那篇至少65分以上。如果拿去比赛，我相信不止是安慰奖。
陈年往事……不如说现在的考试。
现在的考试，可以说是好像拉肚子那样。来而不止，来而恐慌，去而放松，不久后又来。当初如果JPA有华文科，而我的SPM华文又是A1，我肯定会选择华文的。
天意弄人，要我做医生，连名字都这样了……

today

Today is a funny day.

We had a lecture at 7a.m., damn fucking early, as always. Waking up forcefully and feeling like floating, I went to campus quite on time. But the lecturer was late, 35 minutes. And he still could crap some shits for about 5 minutes just for introduction. Moreover he used Bahasa when teaching, so I felt damn fucking sleepy and decided to sleep.
He managed to finish at 8.15a.m. But almost everyone had class at 8a.m. So I walked to RP because my group was having Skills Lab that time. When I reached there, I saw group mates standing at sekreteriat discussing something. Oh well, what happened was that, the doctor came on time and waited us for too fucking long, so she got pissed off and went to hospital already. Err... This is not our fault right?

So today we had only 1 hour class...